The Ghost InvestigatorsThe GI
by Evolution In The Dark
Summary: Ruby Desires, Dark Angel Erissa, & AceLions and I are on a mission to investigate ghost. Yes, I have permisson to use these talented writers in my story.
1. The client

"Flight 405 is arriving at gate R." Announced the airport intercom.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

The plane finally pulls into the gate.

Waiting, waiting, waiting as people leave the plane; then a smile forms on the face of a friend as she gazes upon two pen pal friends as the walk up the gateway.

"Oh God. We made it." D.A. Erissa gasped, as she collapsed on the floor.

Ruby helped her to stand.

"Hey guys." waved Starling. They hugged, then she loaded their bags on a rolling cart. "Welcome to the Winter Raven, the strange land of ghost."

Starling, Ruby, and Erissa have been called by the Mayor of Winter Raven to investigate the strange events happing at the Brewster Estate.

The three investigator's rang the door bell and a young blonde woman answered. "Like, who are you ?" She huffed.

"We're G.I." answered Ruby. " Mr. Ted Brewster called us to investigate the -"

"Don't say it out here !" The blonde hissed. "Just follow me to Daddy's office."

The Estate is extremely large….Cherry wood decorative staircase, painted portraits of what seemed to be the family members, expensive vintage to modern furniture, with over twenty rooms.

"Daddy's in here." said the blonde. She opened the door, and her father stood admiring the view of their Rome themed garden. "Daddy !…" She spat. "I want to go where Mommy is !" stopping her foot hard to the floor. "I want luxury and room service…and more service !"

Mr. Brewster turned to her. "I will my darling Claire, I'll drive you there myself, as soon I'm finished conducting business with these…" looking over at the three. "these…" he didn't know how to put it, such peasants being in his study. "these fine specimens."

"We're not specimens Mr. Brewster, we're intelligent young women !" Defended Ruby.

"We're G.I., the help you ordered." clarified Erissa.

Starling walked over to him. "Mr. Brewster if you want us to solve your ghost problem so your family can have a nice rich spoiled life, then you do best to respect us."

Mr. Brewster huffed. "Very well…"

"By the way…" Starling started. "Why didn't you call the Ghostbusters on this ?…" looking around the spook filled study, it seemed to be out of their league. "This situation looks like a class nine, and we're only equipped for a maximum class seven."

"I didn't get my riches from being stupid…" He replied. "I invested wisely, besides, The Ghostbusters are asking for an outrageous amount…" He huffed. "ten thousand indeed, I would rather spend that on my precious Claire." pointing to the three. "Your company is only asking for two hundred dollars."

"I knew I should've jacked up the price." Whispered Erissa to Ruby.

"Here my cell phone number, I want to be updated on your progress." Handing Starling the paper. "I trust you'll finish this quickly, and above all, discretely."

"Sure, no problem." Ruby held a devil smile.

"And whatever you brake…" Claire spat. "will be deducted from your pay."

The Brewster's departed from the estate.

"God, what a bitch." Ruby frowned as they drove off.

"I so wanted to brake something." said Erissa.

"And we can…" Smiled Starling. "Mr. Brewster sighed a contract, in understanding of the risk of Ghost capture." She removed the contract from her bag, and began reading. "I understand that the Ghost Investigators will possible damage personal belongings when capturing a ghost, and I, Mr. Brewster will not hold them accountable, and I also understand about the company's no refund policy."

"But we're not capturing ghost at the moment." Said Erissa.

"A ghost !" Screamed Starling pointing to the sky. The girls looked…nothing was there, but a loud shattering glass hit the floor. They looked back…it's a very expensive vase. "Ooospy." She smiled, proud of what she did. "It slipped."

Ruby and Erissa smirked, shaking their heads in that tisk, tisk way.

Erissa opened her book bag. "Well, let's get to work." removed a strange device, she calls it. "The Raptor…this puppy locate the ghost gateway of which they enter."

Ruby held a beaker filled with blue liquid.

"Ok Madam Mad Scientist, what have you got ?" Asked Starling.

Ruby smiled. "This my friend is a truth potion, I read that some ghost tell lies, so if we encounter one, I'll splash it with this, and it'll have no choice but to tell the truth."

"Excellent…excellent on both things." Starling smiling at her friends.

"What about you Star , what do you have ?" Asked Erissa.

Starling smiled as she showed her pride and joy. "Ladies, meet the Blastmaster XT one…" stroking the cannon so lovingly. "this will stun the ghost, or blast the fuck out of it…depending on what I set the dial on of course." still stroking the cannon.

Ruby raised a strange brow. "Would you and your Blastmaster like to get a room…." a wave of her hand. "Mr. Brewster has over twenty, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Starling gave her a smartass smirk.

"Guys.." Erissa called out, while staring at the Raptor screen. "I'm picking up something." She began to follow the motion patterns coming from the device, as the others followed. They entered the Brewster Family Library. "It right here."

The Raptor is beeping loudly at a large painted portrait of Claire…The painting began to swirl in no longer showing Claire's face, but instead what appear to be another dimension.

The suddenly a smooth laughter, followed by make out music, echoing thought the room. The girls looked around for the source…but saw nothing, nothing until….

"Look !" Shouted Erissa, pointing to a wide projection screen.

On the screen is a strange looking man. He's pale man with blonde hair wearing a dirty white tux with a pink ruffled shirt, and red lenses sun glasses. "Looking for love in all the wrong places.." He started. "lonely and bored on a good day or night…" waving his arm. "well then, c'mon down to Betel's Dating Service." He smiled, showing all green teeth. "I'll get you matched, dated, laid, and even married if you want."

The screen flashed. _'Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice' _

"Just say those words three times, and I'll handle this rest." He finished off.

Then the screen went blank.

The girls returned their gaze to Claire's painting….It's back to normal.

"Beetlejuice…" called Starling.

"Wait Star…" Said Erissa. "I don't think you should -"

"Beetlejuice…"

"Stararr…" moaned Ruby.

"Beetlejuice."

The third name was announced, and the room suddenly turned dark, when the light resurfaced, they were no longer in the Brewster Estate…they were now standing in the unknown.

**Stay tuned for page Two.**


	2. The unknown

**Land of the strange.**

The chamber is well lit, with crooked hallways, slanted doors, and black and white checker board title. The entire place smelled of amber and burned wood.

"Where the hell are we ?" Ruby awed as she looked around the chamber.

Erissa gazed at the tracking device. "We seem to be in the dimension of the dark, a forbidden realm filled of five, point nine, two, fives."

"Which means ?" Ruby raised a brow.

"Ghost." Starling replied.

"The Netherworld." a male voice announced out of nowhere. "Welcome…" the ghostly form fazed into plain sight. "I'm you're match maker." said the ghostly man.

The G.I. girls held each other tight in fear, gazing upon this strange ghostly man. He's blonde and extremely pale with some green moss on his skin, wearing a black and white vertical suit with red hearts all over it, and black combat boots.

"Who…who are you ?" Asked Erissa.

"I'm the ghost with the most Babe."

"I meant…" Erissa continued. "Your name ?"

The ghost held I thoughtful gaze. "I can't actually tell you my name, but…" forming a smirk toward the three. "I'll give you a hint." From that, he used his ghostly powers to make a glowing neon green letter 'B'. "You first." he pointed to Erissa.

Erissa held a thoughtful gaze. "Is it a birth name or a nick name ?"

"Both." He replied.

"How about…Brad." She finished off.

The ghost shook his head. "Nope." then pointed to Ruby. "Your turn."

Ruby wiped off her glasses to gaze at every detail of the ghostly man. "Boston."

He was taken aback while holding an insulted look. "You think I was named after a fucking state ?…Nope." then pointing to Starling. "Your next."

Starling was already pissed by the way this ghost treated her friends. "How about…Bastard, or Butt Wipe, or Bitch."

"No…" The ghost replied. "a bitch is what you are."

Starling smirked. "Oh really."

"Really." He huffed.

Starling formed a smiled. "I'm glad you can recognize such great talent, I'm the best bitch ever."

The ghost chuckled a little. "You're a spit fire…" waving a pointed finger. "I like that."

then regained his composure. "Well ladies, how about I match you up with a date ?"

"How about you…" Ruby pointed to the ghost. "get the hell out of the Brewster Estate ?"

"I can't." replied the Ghost.

"Why not ?" Asked Erissa.

The ghost snorted. "Because some Blonde chick summoned me here to use my service, then she just abandoned me, leaving the postal somewhat exposed."

"Well judging by your unzipped fly…" Starling pointed out. "you don't mind being exposed."

"Hey, hey ! No peeking…" The ghost quickly zipped his pants. "that service is extra."

"Prostitution ?" Urged Erissa.

"No…" The ghost shifted his belt away. "Flashing my goodies is extra."

"What will have to happen in order for the portal to close ?" Asked Erissa.

The ghost formed a wicked toothy grin. "All I have to do is get customers for my service, then the portal will close."

"And we'll be stuck here." said Ruby.

The ghost waved a casual hand. "Nah…you all can go back, no problem."

"Lair !" spat Ruby. "you will tell the truth." with that, she splashed the truth potion on him.

The liquid spilled all over the ghost hair and suit. "The wet T-shirt deal last week, but I now have a special on…" he removed a plastic bag with a piece of folded cloth, damp in a yellowish green liquid. "soiled underwear."

"Ewww !" The three girls moaned from disgust.

The ghost regained composure to answer. "Since I ran advertisement in the Living Realm, and someone answers that ad, I have to perform the duty…If I can't, then the portal will remain open, Juno will open a new asshole for me, and some government person will have to close it, which will lead to my trip to…" he held a deep cringe. "Sandworm Saturn."

"Hell ?" Erissa urged.

The ghost held a look. "I'd rather go to Saturn a thousand times over than hell, but still, it's not my favorite spot…I'd rather go to Nether-Netherland, being doped up on sugar plum injections, singing 'Mary had a little lamb' while Little Miss Warden sodomize me with a candy cane stick all day."

Ruby and Erissa just looked at each other.

"So if we play your little dating game…" Starling came forth. "those portals in the Brewster house close, you go free, and we go home."

"That's right." The ghost sang. "Hey !…" He shouted, gaining their attention. "Come with me to my corporate office." The Ghost open the door, and outside the weird, twisted, spook town stood a green convertible. "Free taxi service." He opened the rear door with a crooked smile.

The girls left from the chamber, and into a green, with an insane driver behind the wheel, driving passed the unknown, the unfamiliar, the dark dimension called….The Netherworld.


	3. The dates

The ghostly drove as the girl trio reached the ghostly man's Corporate Office. On the top of the odd crooked and cracked structure of the building, the sigh read 'BJ's Roadhouse.'

"Oh…" Star started off, folding her arms with a disapproved look. "I see, we suppose to girls for your Brothel…" then raised a brow in suspicion. "BJ is short for Blow job, isn't it."

"No…." He frowned back to her. "BJ is my nickname."

"Why couldn't you just tell us that in the first place ?" Ruby spat.

BJ grinned. "Cause it wouldn't been fun if I told you straight out. Now that introductions are over…" he left from the tacky green convertible to open the Roadhouse door, and gesture a hand for them to walk inside. "It's match makin' time."

The girl trio walked inside, full of awe in things of the sight. The crooked hallways of black and white titled floors, the dim lit rooms in the distance, and the odd twisted design of the furniture.

"Welcome to hell ladies." Eris said in a fearful tone.

BJ took seat at a desk with a file on it, and began reading. "Umm…let's see now." still reading the file, then looked to Ruby. "C'here four eyes." waving a finger to her.

"I'm Ruby." She spat, then pointed a hand toward Star. "and not the only one who wears glasses."

BJ huffed. "Fine." he spat, then waved a finger at Ruby once again. "C'here, take a seat." Ruby walked toward the desk as he used his ghostly power to make a chair appear from out of nowhere. She took seat as he once again read the file, then looked back to her. "It's says your kinda sporty, and you like deserts."

"This is ridiculous." Ruby spat as she got up from the chair.

BJ then pitched a small portion of fat from the side of her stomach. "Looks like you like lots of deserts." he commented.

Ruby smacked his hand away.

"Ah fuck !" BJ yelp from the sudden pain, then formed a grin. "Yup, definitely sporty, I bet you play some basketball."

"No…" Ruby replied now raising a fist. "but I can show you a little kung fu."

BJ snapped out of his trench coat style attire, and into a white kung fu style top, black pants, sporting a long a braid in his dirty blonde hair. "Bring it."

At that moment Ruby snapped into reality once he changed like that, and knew better than to challenge a ghost, she lowered her fist. "Never mind."

He then changed into a black and white vertical striped suit.

***Ding Dong***

The front door bell rang. "Ah ha…" BJ declared with a risen finger, as he walked to door and open it. "It's your date Ruby."

The trio turned the door, waiting for the guy to enter, It was a skeleton. "Ahello." and a French accent one at that. Ruby frowned heavily upon his entrance. "Beetle ?" the skeleton called. "What are up to ? I'm not getting caught with your shenanigans again., and…" then gazed over, taking notice of the trio of girls. "Ooo la la, what is this ?" he smiled, and yes, you could tell that the skeleton is indeed smiling.

"This…" Walking Ruby forcefully forward. "Is your date, Ruby."

"Well…" The skeleton gazed happily at the girl. "you certainly look worthy of the name of a gem."

"Ummm…." Ruby held a comfortable form, but managed to speak anyway. "Thanks." She had to be honest with the skeleton, even if it would literally kill her. "I…I…" trying to find words to let him down gently. "I like guys with a little…" the words probably offensive, but was all she could think of while staring at him. "meat on their bones."

The skeleton rolled his eyes. "I should have known…" shaking his head. "Fat is in, and since I have none, that counts me out." then turned to Beetle with a frown. "Idiot !" He spat. "You should do research of the likes and dislikes of girls before setting dates."

"Blubbbbppp" BJ blubbered his lips, waving an uncaring hand. "Fuck that, I got no time for detail."

The skeleton shook his head distastefully at him, then left. Just then a short woman with short styled black hair, wearing a spider costume, fishnet stocking, and tap shoes walked in. "Hey Beetle." she waved, speaking with Brooklyn, New York accent. "How's your dating service goin' ?" forming a sinister grin. "They goin' send you to Sandworm Saturn yet ?" then walked away.

BJ frowned at the comment, then turned to Ruby with a smile. "Do you like women at all ?"

She formed a sour face. "Um, no."

"Hey…" Star called, gaining Beetle's attention. "we don't have time for this shit !" she spat.

Beetle nodded. "You're riiiight…." forming a grin even the devil himself would be envious of. "Which bring me to you." He ran out the room for a few minutes, then returned with a greater smile than before. "Your date will be here shortly." Then turned to Erissa, and with a snap of his fingers made a file appear from out of nowhere, then started to read. "It's says you like to have fun." then closed the file. "I've got the perfect date for you…" then felt the strains of her hair. "I think he likes brunettes."

***Ding Dong***

The front door of the Roadhouse rang once again. Two guys dressed as clowns entered; one with average height, and the other tall, both have a muscular build.

"Whacha got here Beetlejerk ?" The one guy spoke, walking as looked to girls, then gazed back to his rival. "You got some shabby lookin' material here." first he stood face to face with Ruby. "Four eyes that's too Fat." He spat.

"I am not fat !" Ruby spat in great offense, then pointed to him in notice of him form. "You are !"

The clown pulled up colorful polka dot shirt, revealing a six pack toned abs. "This ain't fat baby." Then stood face to face with Erissa. "Too short." He spat, standing at the same height as her, for it's taller women that turn him on the most." Then stood face to face with Star, who held a smart ass grin. "Chocolate broad huh…" and taking in notice of her designer spectacles. "with four eyes too." Then noticed her exposed legs and feet in wearing a mini skirt. "Nice legs." he slurred lustfully. Star then rubbed in skin in thinking he wouldn't like it. He took noticed and grinned, gazing to her eyes. "I don't discriminate baby." He then turned to Beetle ready to take care of business as they always do at times, pointing a thumb over to one of the girls. "How much for the chocolate broad ?"

Beetlejuice would normally chuckle at this, and probably would've said a price, but he was already ass deep with Juno, Judge Mental and even his best friend Lydia. He frowned heavily at the clownish rival. "I'm not runnin' a Whorehouse you idiot." He spat. "This is a respectable dating service Scuzzo."

Scuzzo huffed as he took his nose to the air just like an ungrateful snob. "That's ok, I don't need your scruffy little broads anyway."

"This date wasn't for you anyhow…" Beetlejuice spat as he pulled Erissa next to the other clown. "She's for your brother Fuzzo."

"Fuzzo ?!" Scuzzo spat, taken aback for a moment, then started chuckling. "Him…" pointing over to his brother. "with a broad…" chucking even more. "he wouldn't know with to do with a woman, if his life depended upon it." still chuckling.

"What life ?" Erissa questioned. "You both are ghost."

Scuzzo stopped his chuckle, gazing to her. "I know that Einstein." He spat. "Ok…" regaining his composure. "I'm gone." headed for the exit, then turned to his brother before leaving. "Fuzzo…" he called, gaining his attention. "let me know about your shaggy little date, I'll be back for you in four hours." then left.

Fuzzo stood nervously, holding his hand together while looking to his supposed date.

Erissa was never one to hurt someone feeling, despite her personal fear of clowns. "Hi Fuzzo, my name is Erissa." she extended her hand to shake, then took notice of his hand when shaking it. Fuzzo's hand is much bigger, the grip of the hand shake is firm, but still very gentle.

Fuzzo tried to speak but couldn't.

"The clown is mute." BJ added, as the couple just stared at each other.

Erissa didn't mind in knowing of so many ways of communication that she would find a way. "Wanna get some ice cream ?" She asked with the first thing that came to mind.

Fuzzo shook his head happily. He escorted her to a clown car, open the passenger side door to let her in.

"Oh…" Erissa cood in delight. "how gentleman like." then sat in the car. He closed the door and drove off.

"The girl…has lost her mind." Ruby commented to Star in wide eyed awe in watching them drive off.

***Ding Dong***

Beetlejuice smiled wickedly while rubbing his hand together in a greedy form. "Oh hell yeah…" in walking toward the door, he pointed a finger to Star. "I got someone I want you to meet." He opened the door, and a man just a little taller the BJ stepped inside. "Donny." He formed a devil smile oh so good. "Bro…I was waiting for you."

Donny smiled, he always did, but this was no ordinary smile. He raised a suspicious brow to his trouble making older brother. "What are you up too Beetlejuice ?" waving a finger at him. "I know that look, you've got something sinister up your sleeve." He sang playfully.

"No…" Beetle replied with a pouted lip. "Of course not." then gestured a hand toward Star. "I just thought you're the best person to my little friend around the Netherworld, that's all." He smiled.

Donny folded his arms still smiling. "But Beetle you're a guide, it says so on one of your hats."

"Yes it does.." BJ replied, then shoved Star by his brother's side. "but you see I don't trust myself around such a…" froze for a secondary thought in what to say. _'Bitchy bitch' _but instead said. "nice young woman." he smiled. "Will you do it ?" then formed a wide smile in saying something he would never say to his brother of all ghostly people. "Pleeeaasseee." showing all his teeth.

Donny smiled cheerfully as he took Star's hand. "Why my pretty lady, I would love to show you around, I love to travel."

"I'm Star." She stated, holding out a sideways peace sign with her fingers. "Sup."

Donny never quite grasp the body language of street gestures, he then just took her hand into his shaking it like normal with a smile. "I'm Donny." He smiled. "Donny Juice, glad to make you acquaintance."

Star was taken aback as she studied his details. He looked like Beetle only cleaner, dressed like a cross between Forrest Gump and Mister Rogers, penny loafers and all, and spoke with a country boy accent, not really southern, but smooth like Elvis Presley. "Let's just go." She pulled him by the arm, leaving the Roadhouse.

Ruby watched as they walked up the street. "Craziness." she muttered shaking her head.

Beetle placed his hands on his hips with a impatient form. "Well Mother hen…" gaining her attention. "I'm not giving up on you yet, I've got anther ace up my sleeve…" He joined her by the window, pointing to a cattle ranch style house shaped as a giant cattle skull. A tall hairy man wearing cowboy attire and a dark cowboy hat emerged from the entrance of his home. "Oh give me a home, where the buffalo, and then dear and the antelopes play." He sang in a pure southern Texan accent, in placing the trash he carried in a outdoor trash bin.

Ruby turned to him with an annoyed gaze. "I don't date hairy guys." She spat.

Beetle returned to the desk to thumb through the roller deck until…. "Ah ha !" exclaimed with a pointed finger, and then showed her the picture he found.

Ruby adjusted her glasses in view of a picture of a pale skinned man, with pointy black hair, and thick coke bottled glasses. To her, the guy seemed normal, but had to make sure. "Who is this guy ?" now taking notice that the picture was folded, unfolded it, and took in full view that the guy is dressed like The Count from her childhood T.V. show Sesame Street. She placed the picture down on the desk quickly. "I don't think so."

Beetlejuice frowned. "You're awfully choosey, you know that ?" then floated around her. "C'mon Babes, just one date, then I'll leave you alone about it."

Ruby raised a brow in great interest. "Just one date, then you'll leave me alone."

"That's what I said." He sang in reply.

"Ok then…" Ruby held out her hand. "shake on it."

Beetle shook her hand, then gave the details about her date, as he grabbed the picture from his desk, it's the same guy. "His name is Bartholomew Batt, but he'll probably just tell you to call him Bart." He then looked out the window, it's late afternoon, he'll should be up by now." He muttered.

"Night person huh." Ruby urged on, then formed a look of concern. "Ole Bart isn't a vampire or something is he ?"

Beetle formed a devilish grin. "Yes…" using the end of his jacket to drape over his mouth while using a mocked voice of Dracula. "but of course, he is a creature of the night." then howled smoothly like a wolf would during a full moon.

Ruby sighed heavily.

Beetle took notice of her look and tried being more serious. "Look, Bart is a night person ok. He's not a blood sucking vampire ok, he's just, and this is my own personal opinion…" He pointed out, then continued. "he's just a know it all cocksucker."

Ruby couldn't help but to chuckle a little at that.

Then the phone rang. The woman wearing the spider costume was closer to the phone so she answered. "Yeah…ok." then turned to her housemate. "Beetle it's Bart, he wants to know why you called."

Beetle turned to attention. "Just tell 'em to get his night crawlin' ass over here."

Ginger repeated the exact word he said only using a dry tone, then hung up the phone, turned to Beetle. "He'll be by in ten minutes, and it better be good." She said still in a dry tone.

Ruby straightened herself in a cracked mirror, and even though she knew that this was going to be a bum date, still wanted to look her best. She dusted off her white lab coat, shined the smudges off her glasses, combed the wild Brownish-blonde of her mad scientist hair into a straight trendy style, and puckered her lips to smear cherry pink lip gloss.

***Ding Dong***

Beetle answered the door, and emerge the ghostly person the was expected. "Meh…" he started off, looking around the room, then turned in form a deathly stare to his foe. "Whaddya want Beetle brain ?" He spat.

Beetle smiled as he pulled Ruby in front for his view. "This is Ruby."

Ruby formed a extremely nervous to the man. "Hu…hu…hi, Batt, I mean Bart." The man didn't' look too bad, in fact he looked rather normal, minus the thick heavy glasses on his face. She couldn't see his eyes through the glasses at all, the lenses are heavily clouded, but took in notice of the swirl design deep within.

Bart took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it, then grinned. "Nice to see ya." then returned to Beetle once again with a distasteful look. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck you want, or do I have to jab you for wasting my time ?" he spat.

"You're here to date…" Beetle gesture a hand toward the last girl standing in his dating scam. "Ruby."

Bart took another look at her, then returned attention to Beetle. "I am not interested in your line of prostitutes Beetle, I have a classier selection to attend for something like that."

"Christ…" Beetle rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I try to for once establish a clean dating service, and people still think I'm running a Whorehouse." Regained composure in returning attention to his foe. "Look, Ruby just a date, and nothing else, so treat 'er nice…" he ended off with a smack to the back of her ass.

Ruby turned a frown to Beetle, then looked to Bart.

"C'mon Doll…" Bart said, draping an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go get a drink or something." He escorted her to a old style nineteen twenties fancy car, opened the door for her to step inside, once in he closed the door, took seat in the drivers side and drove off.

Beetle sighed lovingly as he watched the last couple drive off. "Ah, love, you know I love it."


	4. It's all about Erissa

Erissa sat with Fuzzo the mute clown at the Freaky Eyes Cream Shop, and yes, those are the exact words of the glowing blue and pink neon lettering. She sat cross from him in a booth, and looked around the strange place. It just looked like a normal classic nineteen fifties style restaurant with large record playing jute box in the corner, pictures of Marilyn Monroe, in her dead state of course, and a service guy wearing an all white uniform at the counter; but his uniform wasn't white everywhere, she took notice of a large dry blood stain in the chest area of his shirt, he was shot there.

Fuzzo gazed upon a menu, a picture menu mainly for kids, and used this to point to the waitress what he wanted because he couldn't speak, nor read.

Erissa just stared at the waitress when it became her turn to order, she didn't mean to stare, she knew it was rude, but couldn't defer her eyes away from the large pitchfork embedded in the lady's skull. She managed to snap out of it. "I'll have just a small scoop of red vanilla please." The waitress wrote down the orders and walked away.

Fuzzo just stared to Erissa with a nervous grin while nervously balling a napkin in his hand. She wasn't sure why he's so nervous, nor why he appeared to be so taken aback, when it should be her feeling this way. "Are you afraid of me ?"

Fuzzo shook his head to answer yes.

"Do you think I will hurt you ?" She asked.

He shook his head to answer yes.

Taken aback by this, Erissa was curious even more. "I can't hurt you, I'm living, you are a ghost. Do you remember the power you have ?"

"Blablopfuty Errot Fpppl….Beep." Fuzzo replied, but knew she didn't understand. In fact, only his older brother is able to interpret the bizarre language he spoke.

Erissa gave him a small computer notebook. "Type it out."

Fuzzo took the strange to him device, looking oddly at the windows 7 screen. He gazed upon the keypad, there's buttons with letters and numbers. Letters of course he couldn't understand but numbers was another thing, he's great at numbers, he would have to be dealing with money and retrieving things for his older sibling. He gave the device back with a shrug in his shoulders.

"Ok…" Erissa looked about, the decide to use the paper place mat. She turned it over, hoping it was clear on the other side, and it was…then noticed the shop waitress left her pen behind. "let it do old school style." She gave the pen and place mat in expecting him to write.

Fuzzo didn't know how to write. He just took the pen and place mat and began drawing.

Erissa looked oddly as he drew the picture, when he was finished he gave it to her. The picture was nothing she expected of him, it's greatly detailed, drawn carefully and skillful as any true professional of art would draw. "Wow." She awed in taking in every detail of his masterpiece. "This is great." then looked to him. The picture he drew is a picture of her, with soft brunette hair and brown eyes. "I love it." she beamed happily.

Fuzzo smiled.

Soon after, the waitress brought their orders and walked away.

Fuzzo immediately plunged into the ice cream, attacking it like some sort of wild animal.

Erissa on the other hand, studied the food cautiously while poking it around with her spoon. The red vanilla ice cream she ordered was indeed red, so she took in a scent in suspicion…there isn't an odor of blood coming from it. She then dared to take her first small bite. _'Not bad' _She thought then took another bite, only this time much larger. "Hmmm…" She smiled upon it's taste. "this is good." then stared to really eat. "the red is just cherry favored food coloring. I like it." she smiled.

Fuzzo held smiled then continued eating.

********

Afterwards, Fuzzo drove Erissa to the most familiar spot known to him, the circus. They walked past all the most weirdest attractions; a bearded lady with a spear half-way out of her body, an extreme contortionist with half of his torso and arms stuck in a glass box completely filled with water, and a lady with a clean cut mark around her abdomen as she carried the very thing that killed her, a jag saw.

Erissa wiped away tear, then her brief sadness was distracted by Fuzzo pointing to a ride called the Frown-a- go- round. She rode the musical ride seated by his side, it's enjoyable for her, it reminded her of how she used to ride it during the innocence of childhood. The music in playing is like any played at any normal carnival. She then gazed upon Fuzzo's smile as the wind that the ride created blew though his short blue hair, and then became enchanted by the blue-grey of his eyes when looking at her, it made her blush just a little, for it's the eyes of a ghost that make them seem alive as they are windows to the soul.

Fuzzo blushed as well, but it wasn't a blush of interest, but of deep shyness. He smiled a little then began to hold her hand.

Erissa didn't want to hurt the guys feeling, nor give the wrong signal, so she instead offered something they could both be happy with. "I would like to be friends. Would you like that ?…" and making sure to clarify so there's no loose ends. "Strictly photonic."

Fuzzo did know the meaning of such advanced words as photonic, but he knew the meaning of friendship, and offered his hand for her to shake.

Erissa shook his hand with a smile. "Ok we're friends. Now…" as the ride slowed to stop. "what ride do you want to ride next ?"

They rode on nearly ever ride, enjoying each other's company, a verbal living realm girl named Erissa, and a non-verbal ghostly clown named Fuzzo.

* * *

Sorry about the shortness of this story, but was all I could think of.

Ladies and Gents, this concludes: It's all about Erissa. But please read and review her talented story version of Beetlejuice on: Dark Angel Erissa

Stay tuned for….

It's all about Starling

And

It's all about Ruby

They will both be separate short chapters of their dates in action.


	5. It's all about Starling

**Previously** On Chapter: It's all about Erissa.

Erissa, the living realm lady, goes on the arranged date with mute ghost guy Fuzzo the clown.

Now this chapter is about the Starling, the next living realm victim, I mean date.

* * *

As requested by his older brother Beetlejuice, Donny agreed to take Starling on a tour of the Netherworld, and he started by taking her to one of his favorite places...The Netherworld Singing Mountains. In the Spring, Donny would gear up to climb the mountains, taking in the peaceful environment as the flowers bloomed and the animals that were hibernating come out with new trees of Netherworld are straight and looked normal just like any tree seen in the living realm, except for the dead animals who lived in or on them.

Star gasped as a road kill squirrel swiftly climbed down from a tree branch to retrieve fallen nuts, she then held tightly on Donny's arm out of the shockingly fearsome sight.

"What's the matter Starlin' ?" He asked.

She felt so speechless but managed to answer anyway. "It…it…it's a…" or at least tried.

Donny looked upon the creature she stared so wide eyed. "Oh…." then waved a casual hand. "it's just a little ole squirrel."

"Riiiight." Starling agreed in knowing that already, but seeing a dead squirrel run so fast like that still freaked her out.

Donny stopped under a tree near a pond, the view of the sun light shimmering it's rays on the water is breathtakingly beautiful.

Star sighed lovingly as she took in every detail of this sight, "It's so beautiful..." She awed, then turned to discover something new under the tree, a blanket rolled out on the grass with a picnic basket on it, "How did that get there ? You didn't carry anything."

He used his ghostly powers to bring forth two clear plastic cups, one glass filled with water, and the other filled with what appeared to be orange soda. "Would you like somethin' to drink ?"

"Yeah, sure." Star answered in looking for something far more important. She grabbed a couple of napkins and headed for a the field. "I'll be right back D.J." Donny smiled back to her by the new nickname she'd given him. "Nature calls." she finished off.

"Well don't go over there." Donny called, gaining her attention, then used his ghostly power once more to create a cherry wood version of a port -a- potty. "Take as much time as you need." he smiled.

Star approached the door in seeing a gold framed sign that says 'Ladies' written in gold script letters. She then opened the door and there stood a normal super clean toilet bowl with a full roll of toilet paper, a normal super clean sink with marble style hot and cold turn handles, and a bar of soap in the shape of a rose. Upon stepping inside, Star also took notice of the rose designed decoration of the wall paper, the small pink lidded trash bin, the mirror with lights all around, and a small open window with pink curtain. As Star sat to use the toilet, soft mellow classical music played through the speakers. "Wow." She awed. "How nice."

When Star emerged from the port-a-potty, she found Donny waiting patiently for her on the picnic blanket, and joined his side. "What do you have ?" She asked in not knowing if a living could eat ghost type food.

"Um…lets see…" Donny looked through the picnic basket. "I have tuna, baloney and cheese, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." then looked to her. "What would you like ?"

Star knew better than to eat seafood or meat from a foreign country and so used that same rule in the Netherworld, and decided to stick with the one thing she felt safe eating. "I'll take the P.B. and J. please."

After eating Donny used his ghostly power to make a wooden guitar appear from out of nowhere and began playing...The sound wasn't too bad, he could play every well, but you could telkl he's still learning.

"That's pretty good." Starling commented with a mouth full of sandwich.

Donny smiled as he continued to play. "When you're done eating, I'll take you to see the grand view up top." in pointing to one of the mountains.

They climbed the stairs of the mountain and reached the lookout point. The view was breath taken, the soft white clouds with a bluish tint, the light orange color of the sky as the sun slowly set, and you could see the top of the trees while feeling a light breeze brush against your skin, it really felt as though you could just soar off and fly.

"This is incredible Donny." Awed Star.

Donny sighed lovingly upon the view. "It's my favorite spot, it's the only place that peaceful and natural."

"Tell me D.J…" Star turned to him. "Can you see living beauty ?"

He turned to look into her eyes. "In truth Starling, I think everything is beautiful."

Star noticed his eyes...to her, they reminded her of sparking emeralds, full of life, determination, and truth...and truth being the most difficult to receive from any guy. "Do you think I'm pretty too." She asked with in the sadness of thinking he will answer no, just like all other guys.

Donny didn't defer his green eyes into her brown, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Of course I think you're pretty, In fact, I think you Starlin' are truly beautiful."

Star lowered her head trying to hide the sudden blush in her cheeks. "Thanks D.J."

After a while of gazing to the environmental nature of the Netherworld, Staring and Donny descended the mountain stairs, and down the pathway until…

"Aw Damn it !" Staring hollered from the sudden pain of accidentally stabbing her foot into an unseen rock. "My foot !"

"Starlin' are you ok ?" Donny quickly came by her side.

"Shit, damn that hurts !" She spat, looking over the injury. The toe of her foot didn't appear to be broken, and the skin didn't brake, but the foot is suffering so much pain, and so tried to walk on just the hill of her foot. "Shit !" but the pain was too much.

Donny bent down to examine her foot. "Your ankle is sprained is all."

"Shiiiit D.J. it hurt like hell." She replied with great pain to her voice.

"You shouldn't be on that foot right now." Donny replied, then took her into his arms.

"Whoa…" Star yelped in surprise as he started to walk. "Please D.J. don't take me to the hospital, I hate needles, and expensive medical bills."

Donny just smiled and shook his head. "No Starlin'…" he chuckled at her fearsome facial expression. "I don't stay far from here, so i'll just take you there and patch you up myself."

Starling came upon a normal looking beige painted brick house. Inside everything from the floor to ceiling sparkled of pure cleanliness, and the lemon scented aroma filled the house.

A short older ghost woman with pale green skin entered the room. "Oh Donny, there you are, your Aunt Lucy and Victor stopped in today, and Oh…" She stopped in notice of her son's company. "I'm sorry I was so rude my dear, welcome uh…."

"Starling." She just took the woman's hand and shook it. "Starling Powers, nice to meet you."

The woman then removed a large magnifying glass from her apron pocket and inspected Star's hands. "Tisk, tisk, very dirty indeed."

"Mom please, Starlin' is injured." said Donny.

"Oh…" She awed now looking to the ankle Donny pointed to. "I see…."

"D.J. thinks it's sprained Madam…." Star edged on.

"You can just call me Bea dear, no need for formalities." Bea smiled, then looked to Donny. "I'll leave you be, I've got to get dinner ready before Nat gets home." and then looked to Star. "Don't worry dear, with Donny patching you up, you'll be as good as new." smiled then left the room.

Donny carried Star to his bedroom, and laid her on the bed. "I'll be right back..." he said before leaving the room. "I'm goinna to fetch the first aid kit." His room is very neat and tidy; bed neatly made, books in the order of the author's last name, and the cleanest windows Star has ever seen. He came back with a white tool box with the words First Aid printed in red lettering, and a red cross symbol posted next to the words. Bone Bond is the first tube of ointment Donny sets on the bed. "She won't need that." He muttered in returning the tube inside the box, then removed a long cloth bandage and some ice packs. He felt along side Star injured ankle.

"Shiiiit." Star cringed through gritted teeth.

"Open your mouth.." Donny said in holding a bite grip. She did what he instructed and bit down on the grip. "brace yourself, this will hurt." He smoothed some Numby-numb Cream on her ankle first, waited a few moments, then snapped her ankle from it kink.

"Ammmm !" Star cringed painfully into the bite grip.

Donny rested Star's foot on top of some pillows, then placed ice packs on the side of her foot, and wrapped it with the long cloth bandages. "There now...just rest it for a while." He placed everything back in the first aid kit, turned on the radio, then left to return the kit in it's rightful place.

"Shiiit !" Star huffed a sighed of relief.

Donny returned to his room and Star grabbed him, kissing his lips, he was so shocked it didn't register what she was doing, then as it did finally registered he blushed with a grin from ear to ear. "Oh sucks Starlin'...you didn't have to…"

She kissed his lips again only this time sliding her tongue in his mouth.

Donny groaned softly.

Then one thing lend to another…her clothes now on the floor, his clothes now on the floor, and then began the sounds of moaning and groaning softly echoed throughout the room as the mattress of the bed squeaks, and the uneven leg of the bed taps against the floor.

"Oh Donny I brought some…" Bea entered the room and received quite an eye full. She dropped the plate of jellied toast in her hand out of complete shock, and being the extremely clean woman that she is, didn't bother to clean it up, she just left wide eyed with dropped open lips.

And there you have it Ladies and Gents, It's all about starling.

Stay tuned for…..

It's all about Ruby

And

So….How was your date ?

And the finally: WTF ?…actually I'll try to think of a better title for the last chap, but for now…it's just this.


	6. It's all about Ruby

Ruby now sits in the car of Bartholomew Batt as they pass each twisted building of central downtown Netherworld. The buildings are much taller than any seen in the Living Realm. In one specific building, it looks like a monorail track going through the archway of the building, but instead of expecting a train, it is a long line of white collared civil service workers being dragged into the building by the ropes around their necks.

Ruby swallows a lump in her thoat in staring wide eyedly at the sight.

The car suddenly stopped. "Sit in the driver's seat for a moment, I'll be right back." Barth said as he stepped out the car.

Ruby wasn't sure why he asked, but did as requested. She looked around the car, everything is so classic, it has genuine leather seats, shiny oak wood panels and silver chrome lining, an old style radio, and a long clutch, and why not, after all the car is a nineteen thirty Buick sedan.

The building the car is parked in front of is large stone structure, statues of giant human skulls posted on each side of the twelve steps, leading to four tall gold doors with two pillars posted on each side.

***Rat…tat…tat…tat…** The sound of a machine gun came from of nowhere.

Ruby shot a look to the man holding the firing gun. The ghostly man is wearing a black ski mask, a black baggy suit, black gloves and shoes. He has a smoking cigar in his mouth, with five full bags of money in one hand, and a blazing machine gun in the other. Her womanly instinct recognized the man. "Scuzzo ?" she awed in surprise.

Then the passenger side door open and shut. "Drive damn it, drive !" Commanded Barth.

The startle of his yell, snapped Ruby from staring at Scuzzo.

"Step on it !" Barth commanded.

In nervousness Ruby stepped on the gas, as Barth controlled the wheel and the shifting of the clutch. She then took quick notice of the black ski mask on his face, a machine gun leaning on the side, and three full money bags on his lap.

They raced throughout downtown, then in an alley and into a tunnel, it looked like the inside of a large pluming pipe, which led outside to another alley on the other side of town.

***************

"Bart…" Ruby called with a worried moan to her voice, gaining his attention. "where are we ?" She awed in driving pass several large mansions on the block.

"Quad-billionaire's Row." He replied, then pointed her to a mansion on top of a hill on the far end of the street. "That's my place."

Ruby steered along the curbed hill to Barths mansion. It was nerve wrecking to drive along such a narrow raodway so far up.

The driveway of the mansion has a long green field of perfectly trimmed square bushes with fully bloomed black, white, and red roses. The water fountain in the middle of it all, is made of white marble with a statue of a naked mermaid pouring water from a bowl in the shape of a seashell.

The mansion itself, has a white and dark blue checker board design, and white doors with a gold frame. Inside is cherry wood wall panels with beautiful paintings of landscape, soft velvet green carpet, and expensive vases filled with the roses seen from the field.

"Follow me." Barth said in escorting Ruby to the lounge area of the mansion. The lounge area has a table with two chairs and large opened door which leads to an outdoor balcony on one section of the room, and a large love sofa and record player on the other. "Please…" he looked to Ruby. "make yourself comfortable." then he left the room.

To Ruby, the large love sofa looked like a bed, and since she didn't want to send the wrong message, just took seat on a chair next to the table. The music from the record player started playing all by itself, it wasn't make out music, but just the mellow instrumental notes from a piano.

"Would you like something to eat my dear ?" Barth asked from the other room.

Ruby is hungry, but didn't trust him enough to eat what he was making. "No thanks."

Barth emerged from the other room, holding a plate of fettuccine alfredo and two empty wine glasses. He placed the plate on the table across where Ruby sat, and gave her a glass, then stepped away to look inside a cupboard. "Perhaps something to drink then." in holding a bottle of white wine for her to see.

Ruby adjusted her glasses to get a better look. The bottle has a picture of a full bodied skeleton, dressed as ship captain, holding a sword. "No thanks, but I'll take some water."

Barth used his ghostly powers to fill her empty glass with cold water, the began to eat. The pasta looked so cheesy and the smell harmed her heart in smelling oh so good, Ruby even began to drool in watching each spoon full of noodles he ate. "Are you sure you didn't want any ?" he asked.

"No, it's ok." She replied with a nervous smile in knowing that he noticed her stare.

Barth finished and cleaned up, then placed a large red colored bong with five different ports on the middle of the table. He removed a clear sandwich bag, filled with a green leafy substance from his pocket, placed the substance in the opening of the bong, and closed the opening. Smoke filled the bong as he attached a small hose to one of the ports, the smell began to surface as he took his first drag, afterwards he now looks oh so relaxed. "Would you like some marijuana my dear ?"

Ruby was taken aback. "I don't do illegal drugs."

Barth took another drag. "In the Netherworld it's not illegal, they have special shops where anyone can buy it, and or you can buy from a street vender."

Ruby did notice something that looked like a hotdog cart parked outside the bank, the cart had a green canopy with a picture of a marijuana leave posted on it, but still. "No thanks, I don't want any."

"Very well." Barth shrugged his shoulders in taking another drag. "more for me." and then formed a toothy grin to her. "Meh…I liked how you handled yourself today, very nice, no coppers." licking his lips lustfully. "You know, I was looking for a partner in crime....Interested ?"

Ruby didn't know what to think, she liked reading stories of cops and robbers, and even grew a fondness to the tale of Bonnie and Clyde, but anything outside of fantasy in doing something like that was too much. "I'm not a thief, I don't want to steal from others to get rich like you." She stated. "It's wrong."

"To get rich ?" Barth repeat the last fraise taken aback with an insulted look. "My dear, I have you know that I, Bartholomew was born into great lines wealth, and that I perform bank robberies just for the sport of it."

"That's not the point." Ruby replied.

Barth then stood face to face to her. "I like you." now exposing his eyes from the thick glasses, the irises are pure white with a normal black middle.

She is taken aback…way aback, the sight of his eyes kind of freaked her out. "Ummm…." in staring. "Nice." smiling nervously.

Barth leaned in for a kiss.

Ruby is so distracted by his freaky white eyes, she didn't notice the soft kiss now in action.

He leaned in once more.

She blinked into reality, then removed a mini flash light from her lab coat pocket, and shined the brightness of the light in his eyes.

"Aaaaggghhh !!!…My eyes !" He yelled in pain, then began stumbling around while shielding his eyes.

Ruby ran outside onto the balcony in panic. She grabbed a hang-glider that stood leaning on the mansion, when it opened, the wind just took her off in mid-air. "Aaaaahhhhh !!!"

***********

The glider swung through the clouds, and as Ruby held on for dear life, she just realized that she had know why of knowing how to fly the thing. The glider climbed further and further upward until a light humming sound could be heard in the distance.

"What's that ?" Ruby turned her head to look, but didn't anything, or at least not at first until….a cloudy sight of a large flying thing, coming straight for her. "Oh. My. God !" the image now in full recognizable view, it's an airplane. "Aaaahhhh !!!"

The front of the airplane flew past Ruby, but the strap of her shoe got caught in the grove of the wing. She looked to a window who has a passenger staring oddly at her. Then a ghostly female flight attendant fazed herself halfway through the plane. "Miss, are you ok ?"

What a question to ask a living realm girl who's holding to a hang-glider, while being stuck on the outside wing of an airplane that's soaring at least sixty thousand feet above ground level.

The flight attendant noticed the problem and removed a pair of scissors from her apron pocket. "I'm going to cut this ?" pointing to Ruby's snagged shoe strap.

"And put me inside the plane right ?" Ruby asked in hope.

"Not without a ticket I won't." said the attendant, then cut the strap loose.

Ruby flew off. "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh !!!!!" flying more upward, and with the bathroom she needed but didn't get a chance to use, was now used in mid-air. "Aaaaaahhhhh !!!!….Shiiiiit !!!!!" then blew quickly downward. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…Aaaaaahhhh !!!" brushing pass tree limbs. "Aaahhh…Ooooghfff !!!" and landed into a deep vat of very cold mud. "Ooooo….."

She rested for a moment to catch her breath, then got up in noticing a subway train station, the departed to return to the BJ's Roadhouse.

*************

And there you have it Ladies and Gents....It's all about Ruby.

Please read her wrighting talent on screen name: Ruby Desires

Next Chapter: So...how was your date ?


	7. Final Chapter

The cool morning air lightly blew though the window, then it began to rain and thunder extremely hard, you could hear the thick drops from the Netherworld rain clouds as they splashed against the steel roof of the Roadhouse.

Beetle gazed out the window with an annoyed look. "The Prince must be out tonight." He muttered aloud in thought.

Then ****Boom****…. the doors to the front entrance busted open with a very pissed, dripping wet Ruby.

"Whoa !" Beetle held a taken aback form. "What the hell happened to you ?"

Ruby didn't answer, the rage built from her dating experience clouded over everything else, and all that was left is a target. "Baaaaawwwwwaaahhh !" she yelled frantically as she chased after Beetle with stretched out hands like an insane lunatic, aiming for his neck.

Beetle dodged her choke hold hands but failed to get away, he fell to the floor.

Ruby aimed a leg for his ass, but when he turned over, the aim changed to a more dramatic place.

"Ooooo…." Beetle screamed from the sudden pain while covering his most vulnerable spot. "my balls."

Ruby placed one hand on her hip and used the other to point a finger at him. "Well that wouldn't have happened if you stood still !" She spat.

He turned to her with tearful eyes and a very confused expression. "What the hell's wrong with you ?"

"You set me up with a bank robber !" She spat.

Beetle still crumbled on the floor. "You're upset just because ole Bart has a unusual but interesting hobby ?"

"He kissed me !"

Beetle frowned with a heavily with an even more confused expression. "You kicked my balls over a smooch ?"

"NO !" Ruby spat. "I kicked your balls because you turned over you idiot. I aimed for you ass, but kicking you there made me feel much better."

Beetle huffed and used his ghostly power to make a pen and note pad appear from out of nowhere. "I'm adding 'Sadist' to your profile." then he stood. "Oh, and by the way…" he grinned. "ole Bart like that too." he winked.

As Ruby was about to hit him with a throw pillow, Erissa and Fuzzo walked through the Roadhouse door, laughing and giggling together.

"Well at least someone had fun." Ruby formed an annoyed look.

Beetle knew he shouldn't get kicked over this one. He floated toward the couple with a grin. "So…" he moaned in a teasing tone, then regained composure. "How was your date ?"

Fuzzo and Erissa looked at each other and giggled then looked back to him. "It was great, we had a blast." She smiled. "The ice cream, the carnival, bowling, and the movie."

"Good…" Beetle smiled. "it's good to have satisfied customers." then rubbed his hands with a greedy look. "BJ's dating service will sweep the nation, and I'll make millions if this keeps up."

Erissa just shook her head in disbelief.

"Fuzzo !" Scuzzo called. "There ya are, I was waitin for ya. How'd the date go ?"

Fuzzo raised up a thumb with a smile.

"That's it ?" Scuzzo frowned. "No score huh, well that stinks." Then turned to his rival. "I thought he was suppose to get laid ?"

Erissa and Ruby heavily frowned to Beetle, giving him a suspicious narrow eyed gaze.

"Well uh…" Beetle began. "ole girl don't do that, besides, I'm not runnin a whore house….remember."

"Yeah right." Scuzzo huffed then grabbed his brother. "C'mon Fuzzo, let's go."

Fuzzo waved before they left.

Beetle turned to the two. "Well don't look at me, I didn't suggest…"

Ruby stomped on his shoe.

"Ow Fuck !" He yelp in pain.

"That Scuzzo guy robs banks too !" Ruby spat.

Erissa looked to her with wide surprised eyes. "Really ?"

"I saw him." Ruby finished off.

Beetle raised his hands defensively. "Well uh…don't be spreading it around ok…" he chuckled nervously. "I don't want any breathers to die because they decided to rat on a ghost."

"I'm not going to say anything, I know better." Ruby turned to him. "The only thing I care about is…"

Just then, Ruby's rant was interrupted by the Roadhouse door as it busted open with a very smiling lady standing in the door frame. "Starling Powers is here !" she announced like a dramatic superhero.

"How was your date ?" Asked Erissa.

Starling formed a mischievous grin. "Very well."

Beetle grinned evilly. "So…did Donny drive you crazy ?" he asked in knowing that his youngest drives everyone else crazy with niceness, and surely it'll hit her too.

"No…" Starling beamed. "but I might have…" she returned an evil smile of her own. "driven him somewhere."

"Star…" Erissa called in a wide eyed form, gaining her attention. "What did you do ?" she asked slowly in caution.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing really, I just had fun while performing a little experiment to fulfill my curiosity was all."

Erissa raised a suspicious brow.

Ruby just looked at them. "Is there something you guys know that I don't know."

"Here ya go Madam Scientist." Starling gave Ruby a jar filled with a light but clear substance.

Beetle raised a brow too, but only because the girls were acting too strangely for his taste. He shook his head. "Why do I end up with the weird chicks ?" he asked himself, then removed a lit cigarette from his pocket and took a long drag.

Ruby gazed carefully and curiously into the jar. "Fresh ectoplasm." she awed.

"If that's what's it's called here." Starling replied.

"I'm glad two people are enjoying themselves." Beetle spat in a annoyed tone.

Ruby let out an annoyed huff. "Well now that's over, you can close the portal to the Brewster Estate, and we can go home."

"Not that easy." Beetle replied. "I have to get ya'll on two dates. That was the first one."

"I'm game." Starling challenged.

"Me too." Said Erissa.

"Whoa…I'm not." Ruby held her hands defensively. "We had a deal." she pointed to Beetle then crossed her arms. "You said that I don't have to do anymore dates."

"And you won't have too." Grinned Beetle. "I'll do everything, I'll be your date…. personally." then waved a finger to her. "But no more sadist stuff…" then huffed to air with a snood look. "that cost extra."

Starling and Erissa gazed to Ruby with wide surprised eyes.

"I…" Beetle pointed to himself. "happen to like my balls the way they are, and not to get kicked." He finished off.

Ruby turned to her surprised friends. "I…I…it was an accident."

"Yeah right." Starling snorted.

Erissa just shook her head in disbelief. "I didn't see that coming Ruby. I mean...I just didn't image you doing that."

"You're the Betty Page in the group, not me." said Ruby.

"Ahhh…Betty Page…" Beetle groaned lustfully in remembrance of the fifties pin-up. "Now she's a hot one."

"Well Beetle…" Starling began. "hook up. Who's our next dates ?"

He walked to his desk and snapped his fingers to make a note pad appear from out of nowhere. "Let's see now…" looking over the notes, then held a smile…a wicked smile. "Erissa…" he called, gaining her attention. "I'm gonna set you up with a gentleman…a classic gentleman. And you Star…" looking back to his notes, then forming a even more evil grin. "I'll set you up with Scuzzo."

"He said, he's not coming back." Star pointed out.

"If I say 'Chocolate treat'….he will." Beetle grinned.

"And you and me are dating." Ruby said. "What are your plans ?"" she asked in suspicion.

Beetle grinned. "All dates we began tomorrow…" then he flash powered himself into black beetle printed pajamas. "Goodnight." and as he closed his bedroom door, three full size appeared from out of nowhere in the lounge area.

"Well goodnight friends." Erissa said as she climbed into a bed.

Starling stayed up a little longer and watched T.V.

And Ruby, she just couldn't fall asleep, and had no interest in watching T.V. She instead just climbed into bed staring out into the Netherworld stars, wondering how her date with Beetle and the dates of the others would turn out.

**The next day**

Starling, Erissa, and Ruby woke up, but of course of curiosity…they now stare at a heavily snoring Beetle on his king size coffin shaped bed.

"**Zzzzzzz…."**

"So disgusting." Ruby frowned as she viewed over the empty beer bottles, cigarette butts, half chewed beetles, and cheese puffs on his bed.

"……….."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwww !" the girls screamed in unison.

Beetle woke not from the screaming trio, but from the trio attack of pillows being hit at him. "Whoa…what the fuck ?"

"You farted !" The trio screamed in unison. "Ewwwwwww !"

"Hey damn it !" Beetle snarled. "If ya'll weren't in my fucking room, you wouldn't have to smell my cologne de greatness." his hair was messy as always but there is something gross in there.

"There's a dead bug in your hair." Erissa pointed out.

Beetle snorted loudly.

"Ewwww !" the trio screamed.

He then picked the bug from his hair and crunched on it.

"Ewwww !"

He then turned to the trio. "Are ya'll gonna stop ewing ?" then ate another bug.

"Ewwww !"

Starling pointed to him. "Take a shower !"

"Shower ?" Beetle repeated taken aback in a insulted form.

"Yeah wash you ass !" Starling spat.

Beetle formed a grinned. "You like noticing my ass huh ?" he winked.

"Hey you guys…" Erissa called out, gaining their attention. "let's not start the morning this way."

"She's right" Ruby agreed. "We can all have an emotional and mental show down later, now let's get the dates over with, and Beetle…" gaining his attention. "take a shower."

Beetle grumbled and growled as he removed himself from the bed. "Alright, alright." He huffed then turned toward the trio. "If you wanna watch me shower and get dressed that's fine with me." he grinned.

Ruby and Erissa left.

"What about you Babes ?" He asked Star.

She raised a brow. "What's the matter Beetle, you shy ?"

"Nah…" Beetle flashed his clothes off, now standing completely naked.

Erissa walked in. "Star, I…." she saw everything private about Beetle and snatched her out the room.

"I showed them." He chuckled proudly.

After Beetle came from his room, he floated into the lounge area and sat, looking over his notes, the profile of the girls. "Ruby…Chubby four eyes, sporty, sadist. Erissa…nice, shy, fun type. Starling…bitchy, and…nothing else….check."

*Ding Dong*

"Now what ?" Beetle muttered as he removed himself from the desk to answer the door. He open the door to discover. "Donny…" He grinned. "What a surprise, come in." His younger brother stepped through the door. "So…" he began again with a wicked toothy grin. "How was your date with the bitch, was she mean, did she snarl at you ?"

Donny heavily frowned. "Starling…" he corrected his brother. "was very nice to me."

"She's a tough, are you sure ?" Beetle raised a brow.

"All Starling needs is a little TLC." Donny replied.

"TLC…" Beetle repeated. "Tough Luck Chuck."

"No." Donny huffed. "TLC stands for Tender Loving Care." he walked toward the couch with a limp like he was sore. "And I do mean tender."

As his younger brother walked past, Beetle noticed what seemed to be a hickie mark on his neck, then shook his head to dismiss the thought. "Nah…."

Ruby and Erissa walked into the room with…

"Starling." Donny turned to her. "I…I…" he held a small gift wrapped box in his hand.

"For me ?" Star smiled, then opened the box. "My glasses…" she looked to him. "you fixed them for me, thank you." and gave him a hug.

"Your glasses ?" Erissa repeated, then it struck her. "Oh yeah, you didn't have them on when you came in."

"I just assumed you took them off because of the rain last night." Said Ruby.

Starling placed the glasses on her face. "Crystal clear sight, welcome home." then looked to him. "How did you fix them ?"

Donny blushed. "I had to guess." he began twiddling his hands into each other. "Living eyes are different than ghostly eyes, but I tried by best. How's the sight, can you read with them ?"

Beetle made an eye chart appear from out of nowhere.

Starling read it, then turned to Donny with a smile. "It's perfect."

"Well good…" Beetle started. "Another satisfied customer and…" he got cut off.

Donny pushed his brother to the side to talk. "Starling…" he called, gaining her attention. "I would like to talk to you about…"

"What is it D.J. ?" Star interrupted.

"I…I…" Donny trying to find the words. "Well I was hoping if I could speak to you about…" He got cut off.

"Hurry up man !" Beetle grumped with impatience. "I'm trying to set her up with Scuzzo."

"I'm not let gonna let you set Starling with him Beetlejuice." Donny hissed.

This hiss, what seemed to be an angry hiss, coming from Donny of all ghost…impossible. Beetle shook his head in disbelief, then to turned to him. "Would you like another date with Star, Donny ?" he grinned.

Donny wasn't aware that his outing with Star was a date, he though he was just suppose to show her around, but still he did enjoy her company, she was nice to him. "Um I guess, but…" He saddened, he wanted to, but….

"Well D.J…." Star began as she held a flier. "I found that the Netherworld has daytime Cosmo bowling, it's my favorite, maybe you wanna go."

Donny sighed. "I would love to but I gotta work later on. I've started training and…"

Star waved a hand. "Oh Don, we can bowl a few rounds and have you at the job way before your start time…" then held a hand. "scouts honor."

Well…scouts honor, Donny was a scout himself and knew the sincerity of a scout promise so he couldn't argue with that. "Ok then, I'll go."

"Repeat business…" Beetle mused with a satisfied tone. "good…" he grinned, then hastily escorted them out the door. "Good bye." he slammed the door then dusted off his hands. "Good reddens."

"Who's next ?" Ruby asked.

Beetle turned toward the girls, but he really eyed Erissa. "I'm dropping you off." He escorted the girls to the back yard.

"The plane is ready Beetle." Said Jacques as he placed the tools in the tool box.

The plane is the same color as Beetle's convertible, and it even has 'Doomie' written on the license plate. Ginger stood in the door frame of the plane wearing a flight attendant uniform. "All a board." She announced, rolling her eyes. "Flight Beetle is taking off."

"How are you making her do this ?" Erissa asked Beetle.

He grinned. "Ole Gin lost to a poker game, that's how."

"And the boney guy ?" Ruby asked.

"He just wants me out of the house." Beetle replied, then he just magically changed into a pilot uniform. "C'mon…" he waved a hand for them to board. "enjoy your first class flight."

The plane wasn't filthy, in fact, it was Jacques who not only made repairs but cleaned it as well. The seats are large, just like first class seats on the plane, and it even has classic music playing in the over head speakers.

Ginger, being the flight attendant performed the routine of showing where the emergency doors were, how to ring bell, and how the seat cushion could be used as a floatation device.

Jacques was going to leave for a relaxing Beetle free jog until he was talked into being his co-pilot, so he packed the tools just in case, and wore a parachute just as Ginger.

Ruby began to get nervous. "I already got blown off a plane once…I don't need it again."

"Re-lax…" Beetle grinned just before he entered the flight deck "I've got everything under control."

Of course this didn't make Ruby nor Erissa feel any better, then the plane took off into the Netherworld sky.

"Where is he taking us ?" Erissa asked Ginger.

Ginger shrugged her shoulders. "Beats me kid." then gave then some honey roasted peanuts.

"_Ginger…" _Jacques called over the radio.

"Yeah." Ginger replied.

"_Prepare for Erissa's decent."_

"Ok." Ginger replied once again then removed a parachute from the closet and gave it to her. "Here, put this on Hon."

"Hey…where's mine ?" asked Ruby.

Ginger shook her head. "You won't need one."

"Why not ?" Ruby asked taken aback

"because you'll not leaving the plane." Ginger replied.

"Wha…" Erissa's and Ruby's eyes widened.

Beetle grabbed Erissa and opened the hatch door. "I would just land and be all proper about this, but I'm not allowed down there, and that's ok…cause I hate that town." then he threw her over board.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh !"

Ruby watched as Erissa parachute opened over what seemed to be a dark large castle, then she ran toward Beetle and pounded fist into his chest. "Why did you do that ?" she spat.

"I told you why." Beetle replied taken aback. "I'm not allowed in that town, I've been banned." Then he sat across from her. "Now, let's talk about our date."

**Star and Donny**

"Wow…" Star awed as Donny hit yet another strike. "You're a good bowler."

Donny smiled. "This was fun." He chuckled. "Now I not so nervous about the new job."

"What are you going to be doing ?" She asked.

"Well…" He began with a small smile. "I'm training to be the Prince's royal bodyguard."

"Cool."

"I'm glad I was chosen and all…" Then he sighed. "but violence isn't my thing."

Star smiled. "You know, you could be the voice of reason, and just use violence when ever necessary. In the living realm there's saying…To gain peace, one must be prepared for war."

"We have that saying here too." He replied. "And I will protect the Prince at all cost, but still not my thing. Oh heck, maybe I'll find a way to like it."

"Sure you will." She smiled then gazed to her watch. "Oh D.J. we better get going."

"I gotta stop by my house before I go."

"Mind if I tag along with you ?…" Star asked. "I noticed a mall near your house the other day and I wanted to check out."

"Sure." Donny smiled.

They began to walk.

"Starling…" Donny began. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure D.J…what is it ?"

"Well I…I…" Donny tried to piece together the words but it was failing. "I wanted to talk about what happened last night." He blurted out in fast words.

"Wha ?…" Star raised a brow. "Could you repeat that ? I didn't understand you. Try speaking slowly."

"I…I…" Donny still struggling to form the words. I mean, how could he ? He's never said, let alone do anything like that before. "I…"

"Well D.J…" Star stopped in front of the pathway to his house. "We're here." she sang, then regained composure. "You better get in there and hurry off for work, we wouldn't want my promise to go bad, now would we ?"

"I…I…" Donny stared at her, then his watched beeped, and he regained composure. "I better go now, but I would like to talk to you later."

"Sure." She smiled.

Then he zoomed off…blink…he was gone.

"Donny wait…" Mrs. Juice ran out the door, holding a lunch box. "You forgot your…" she noticed he was no where in sight. "Oh dear, I hope they'll feed him at the castle." then she noticed. "Oh, hi dear." then began to blush. "I uh…nice to see you again."

"Hi Mrs. J." Starling replied, then offered a hand. "I can give that to Donny on my to the mall, no problem."

Mrs. Juice smiled. "Oh how nice dear."

"Well he helped me out, and I don't want him to starve." Star replied. "It's the least I can do."

Mrs. Juice gave her the lunch box and off she went. "Thank you, and be careful." she waved.

**Ruby and Beetle**

They sat on the plane. Beetle held a glass of wine in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other, he took a long drag then began with… "So, lets began with your bedside manner, do you want to be on top, or on the bottom ?"

Ruby's mouth dropped from the shock, she has the wide eyed 'Oh no he just didn't ask me that' look on her face.

"Well…" Beetle wagged his brows. "which is it ? Or would you like if I let fate…" removed a coin from his pocket. "decide."

"I don't just give my goodies away." Ruby spat.

Even Ginger, who was standing near by, smacked him over the head with a metal tray. "Stupid." she hissed.

"Why don't you get some nuts or something ?" Beetle spat to the tap dancer.

"I would…" Ginger snapped. "but nobody wants to touch your ole saggy rusty nuts."

Beetle spread his legs in front of the tap dancer. "I've got your nuts…" grabbing the area of choice. "right here."

Ginger huffed with an annoyed look, then gave him the finger.

"If you wanna try to grab both these big balls with one finger…" He formed a devil grin. "that's fine, I don't mind."

Ginger rolled her eyes and walked away.

"You're a pervert." Ruby spat.

Beetle turned to her with that same devil grin. "Why…thank you." He said proudly. "I try."

She shook her head then regained composure. "I just wanna do something simple."

"Bor-ring." He replied.

Ruby held a thoughtful form. "Hmmm…." then a idea. "I would like to get a little payback on ole Berth. How about a prank ?"

"Ooooo…" Beetle formed a mischievous grin. "I like where this is goin."

She shook her head, finally a destraction away from the bed subject. "I'd like to see you in action."….wrong choice of words Ruby.

Beetle wagged his brows. "Before or After I prank off ole Barth ?"

Ruby sighed heavily.

"Jacques…" He called to his co-piloting roommate.

"Oui."

"Next desination…Barth's mansion."

Ginger re-entered the room holding a tray of cakes. "Should I serve desert now ?"

"No thanks…" Beetle glanced briefly at his other roomate, then returned his look to Ruby, looking her dead in the eye. "I already have a sweetie in front of me."

She was taken aback by his statement, and even more so when he winked at her. Ruby regained composure. "Ok B.J…you got moves, I can't deny that."

**Erissa and Who ?…..**

Just as Erissa landed on the ground of the courtyard, two royal guards rushed by her side.

"I told you I saw an alien." Said one guard to the other.

The other guard removed the parachute away from Erissa's face. "That's no alien you idiot, she's a breather." He helped her to her feet. "Miss, you're trespassing on royal property, you'll have to came with us."

"This wasn't my doing." Erissa explained.

"Maybe…" the guard began to escort her. "but that's not for us to decide."

The two guards took her inside a room called 'Judgement' and there stood three men…one she knew is Beetle's brother, but the other two, she of course didn't know. The other guy has light green skin, has his hair styled in a Mohawk, and wears a long faded orange cloak. The guy seated on seemed to be a throne, has light blue skin, long jet black hair with eyes as dead and dark as the night, and wears a gold crown.

Erissa watched the sentence before hers take action.

"Your majesty…" The Mohawk guy looked to the guy wearing the crown as he lowered a clip board. "This ghoul has been charged with petty theft of robbing a conventant store."

"And this estabishment is sectioned on royal gounds ?" The guy with the crown raised a brow.

"Yes Your Majesty, and this thieft was no mere cause for food or product, this ghoul…" the Mohawk guy pointed to the ghoul in question. "held the proprietor at gun point for the monetary amount of seven hundred dollars."

The guy with the crown shook his head in disqust. "Well then…" he began. "any monetary thieft done onto my kingdom, especially on royal grounds will be held accountable." then with a casual, uncaring wave of his hand. "Be off with you thief, there shall not be a sandworm that awaits you, but a prepared exocism as punsihment for your crime."

"No !…" The thief screamed with wide eyed terror. "NO !" he screamed more as the guards carried him off.

Erissa swallowed a lump in her throat as she approached the bench.

The guy with the Mohawk read from the clip board. "This young lady has been charged with trespassing on royal property during closing hours." then turned to the girl in question. "How do you plead ?"

Erissa then noticed that this was no ordinary bench, and wher she stood is a large round metal hatch door with a craven image of a snake like creature on it. She then heard the howls from underneath her feet. "Oh. My. Gawd." She whispered in terror to herself. She regained composure, or at least tried to. "I did arrive here, but I didn't intensionally mean to break any trespassing rules. I'm a vistor from the Living realm, my name is Erissa, and my presence on you property was due to me being forcefully pushed out of a plane."

"And what proof do you have of this claim ?" Asked the Mohawk guy.

"Well…" Erissa began. "when I arrived, the guards convencated my parachute, and I'm afraid that it's the only proof I had."

"And would do such an act ?" Asked the Mohawk guy.

Erissa didn't want to reveal Beetle and was hoping that Donny wouldn't say anything. She tried to quickly come with an answer. "The pilot of the plane." was all she said.

"I will choose to believe the young lady Nicodemus." said the guy wearing the crown. "Her eyes seem sincere and her words to be truthful." he looked to her. "Erissa, is it ?" raising a brow. "What a pretty name, I am Prince Vince, ruler of the Netherworld."

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Highness…" Vince repeated the last word. "Lowness would be more fitting my dear."

"Yes sir….Your…Lowness."

Vince arose from his throne. "And since you are a guest in my kingdom, I invite you to dine with me."

"Me ?"

"Yes." He gazed to her. "It is not often that my presence is held in such lovely company."

"Thank you, Your Lowness."

**Back to Ruby and Beetle**

"_Were be in Barth's airspace in five minutes." _Jacques announced over the plane's P.A.

"Well girlie…" Beetle began. "let's go." he waved to the open hatch door.

"You don't have a parachute." Ruby pointed out.

Beetle snorted with an uncaring expression. "I'm the ghost with the most babe…" waving a uncaring hand. "I need no chute…" then gloated with cocky pride. "I can float at any height."

"Good for you."

He then pushed her off the plane.

"Aaaaahhhhh !" Ruby screamed as she decended through the clouds and air.

Beetle covered her mouth with an annyoned glare. "What are you tryin to do, alert 'em ?" he folded his arms. "Pranks are best done with the element of surprise." He kept her mouth coved until they landed in Barth's back yard.

"What are you going to do ?"

"Watch this…" Beetle winked.

Ruby watched as Barth lounged across the couch, reading a book. He looked so peaceful, so at ease, and even…as she dared to even admit it…he even looked kinda cute, but he was a perv, but then again, so is Beetle…which is also cute. She shook her head in trying to convince herself it was only the brief insanity of her being on this land, the land of the dead, that is making her think this way. But it was more than that…but she's not going to cross those lines.

**Ding Dong**

Barth answered his door and there stood a very volumpous blonde woman.

"Bartholomew Batt ?"

"Yes…" He answered taken aback.

"I'm Becky, I'm here for your private in-home message today."

Barth raised a brow. "I didn't order this."

"Are you sure." She cooed. "Cause it say's you did right here." now showing him a order slip. "You ordered it via mail."

"Nah…." He waved uncaringly.

"Ok…" Becky smiled. "I won't, if you changed your mind."

Barth watched as she walked away. He watched the way her slender legs looked in nylon stockings, the way her eight inch pumps clicked as they touched the ground with each step, and his eye even caught notice of something he's never seen before, because it simply didn't exist in the nineteen thirties…He caught a glimpse of her thong panty. "Er…on second thought…" He began, gaining her attention. "I better keep this appointment…" he smiled mischievously. "my back feels…stiff all of a sudden."

Becky turned to him with a smile. "Ok."

Ruby watched as Barth led Becky into the lounge area, the same room she was in before.

"For me to do a good job…" Becky began. "I'll need you take off your shirt."

As he did that, Becky briefly turned to where Ruby was peeping and formed a face of disgust, then quickly turned back to Barth with a smile. "Now honey…" froze in thought in knowing that the next few words were going to even more difficult. "take off you pants."

As he turned to do that, Becky showed Ruby a pinky, indicating to her that Berth has a small di…well, you know.

Ruby giggled.

"What was that ?" Barth turned around.

Becky leaned to him with a sexy coo pose. "I'm so tickled pink on what I'm going to do with you today, I just couldn't help myself…" she smiled, and now using a sexy coo voice. "I'm really going to enjoy this."

Barth smiled as he climbed on a message table that appeared out of nowhere.

Becky made a bottle of oil appear out of nowhere and started on his back.

"Oooo…"

"Does that feel nice ?" She cooed.

"Yeeeessss." then smelled the aroma. "What is that ? It smells great."

"It's called Almond Butter."

"Niiiccceee."

"I'm glad you like it." She replied with a giggle.

"Oooo…" then. "Hey baby, how much you get paid for doing this ?"

"Forty bucks."

"How about…you do a little extra, and I give you a little extra ?"

"How much is a little extra ?"

"Two hundred and forty dollars."

"Hmmm…" Becky cooed in thought. "And what would I be doing for this extra insentive ?"

"Some fun bedtime activities."

"Like what ?"

Ruby heard every nasty detail Barth is saying. "Oh gross." she whispered to herself.

"Well that sounds nice an' all…" Becky began. "but I got another appointment after you, so I gotta book after I'm done with you big stud, but I will keep your ideas in mind." she winked.

Barth craked the bones in his back. "Ah…." a satisfied grunt. "that was great my dear, your fingers work magic."

"Yeah…" she giggled. "I get told that sometimes." then waved him off. "See ya."

Behide the mansion, Ruby gasped as she turned to see Beetle.

"The things I do for a prank." He commented.

"But…" Ruby began. "all you did was give him a message."

"Oh yeah…" He raised a brow, then pointed. "Watch that."

Ruby watched as Barth's grey pale skin turned into a pink and yellow color.

"The next time Barth looks in the mirror, he'll see a whole new person." Beetle chuckled. "And…" he chuckled more. "I can't believe he has such a small di…"

"It wasn't that small." Ruby commented.

"Well I have a…"

She covered his mouth. "I don't wanna know." then grumped. "I wanna go back to the Roadhouse."

Beetle frowned. "You're such a bore, you know that ?"

**Erissa and the Prince**

They are seated to eat lunch in the main hall, filled with large windows, portraits of past royalty, and even a few rare antiques.

Erissa watched as the Prince ate. She watch with wide eyes as he ate what seemed to be blood.

"Is there anything the matter my lady ?" Asked the Prince.

"No, no, not at all. I just…" watching him eat. "What is that your eating ?"

His mannerism is top class, but of course, he is a royal after all. He sat proper, ate proper, and everything is so perfect, he even looked like a perfect Prince, but only dark, deathly and depressed. "It is called, Blood Pudding." His accent is even so royal… so very proper…so british. "Have you heard of it ?"

"Yes…" Erissa began. "In the Living Realm, it's a desert in the country of England. But tell my dear Prince, is this pudding made from real blood ?"

"Of course not. It is merely food coloring that produces red appeal." then the Prince summoned his body guard. "Come Donny, join us, eat, you will need energy for later."

Donny sat at the table and used his powers to make the lunch box Star gave, appear out of nowhere.

"Ah…I see your friend, gave your meal." Commented the Prince. "Good."

Donny took a bite of his sandwhich, a big chomp, a big gaping chomp that even the maids in the room were taken aback.

"Please control your animalistic eating Donny…" The Prince began. "not only are you in the company of royalty, but most importantly, you are in the company of a lady."

Donny swallowed and cleared his throat, and began again, taking a smaller bite.

Erissa felt a kick against her leg, she shrugged it off in thinking it was nothing, but then it happened again. She looked to Donny, who had wide shocked eyes with his mouth wide open, it was if he were frozen in place. She then took a glimpse at the Prince, who continued eating. Another kick occurred, but this time she noticed a shoe. She dropped her fork on porpose to see who or what it was. She lefted the table cloth and saw that Star had a mouth full of Donny underneath the table.

Star noticed her stare and winked at her.

Erissa's eyes widened as she quickly lefted her head.

Donny shook his head and tried so badly to regain composure, but it was failing him. He bit his bottom lip, grunted and then formed a very exhausted look on his face. He cleared his throat, leaned back on the chair, and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Oh my.." said in a low tone.

"Donny…" The prince called, gaining his attention. "Are you not feeling well ? You seem so…so…pale for a man of your…cheeriness."

"I'm ok Your Magesty." Donny replied in a fast quick way.

The Prince was taken aback, never before did he every see Donny like that, his body guard so drained of energy, no smile, and even his happy go lucky attitude, just the odd form before him. "Are you certain ?"

"Yes, Your Masjesty." Donny managed to show a small smile. "I'm just all sunshine."

The Prince gazed to Erissa. "Is everything to your liking ?"

"Yes." She smiled. "I love this room, it's so creepy."

"Thank you."

"Tell me Your Lowness…" Erissa began. "Are you looking for a date at all ?"

"No" The Prince sighed. "I already have a fair maiden sown within my heart, and I wish for only her, to be my Princess."

Erissa notice a painting of a young woman with black hair, wearing a red spider designed cape, hung on the north wall. "Is that her ?" She pointed.

"Ah yes…" The Prince began. "My fair Lydia. She and I are in courtship, and it pleases me."

"I see…" Erissa slumped. "Well, can't blame a girl for trying."

*Dong*

A gong rang, and as the maids collected the dishes, Star dashed from underneath the table.

"What in the devil was that ?" Asked the Prince.

"A falling star." Erissa replied.

"Your Magesty…" the guy with the Mohawk called, gaining his attention. "You have one hour to prepare for the arrival of Lady Lydia."

The Prince turned to Erissa. "If you excuse me, I have to prepare for my courtship with my lady, so I will bid you farewell."

Donny wa asked to escort her out the castle gate. "Erissa…" gaining her attention. "please tell Starling that I would like to talk to her tonight."

"I will Donny, and thank you."

**At the Roadhouse….**

Beetle, Ginger, Jacques and Ruby played Scrabble.

"You can't use that word Beetle." Ginger scolded.

"Why not ?…" Beetle agued. "'ass' is a word."

"Despite how vulgar Beetle is…" Jacques intervened. "he is right, so give him three points."

Ginger huffed andf did just that.

"Are you always this way ?" Ruby asked Beetle.

He grinned to her. "Yes, I am."

The door opened and there came.

"Starling !" Ruby rushed over to hug her. "Thank god you're ok."

"Wha…" Star was taken aback. "I'm ok..I've always been ok. The question is, are you ok ?"

"I'm just here Star."

Then Erissa came in. "You !" she pointed to Star. "You…you…you…"

"Yes…yes…yes…" Star replied.

Beetle took a swig of whiskey. "What happened, did you bite ole Donny ?" He chuckled.

Erissa was still shocked. "I was eating lunch with the Prince…"

"Oh good…" Beetle interrupted. "I was hoping they didn't throw you to the Sandworms." then he took another swig.

"Star gave Donny a head job underneath the table !"

"Bbbbppphhhfff !" Beetle spat out whiskey. "What ?"

Ruby shook her head in bisbelief. "What ?"

Jacques and Ginger's eyes widened.

"Bawahahaha…" Starling laughed at Beetle's reation. "Man oh man, you are truly the face of your Mother."

"My mother ?" Beetle repeated taken aback.

"Bawahahaha…you shoulda seen you your Mom's face when she walked in on…Bawahahaha…"

Beetle's eye's widened. "Donny did the do ?"

"Nevermind that…" Ruby spat. "I wanna go home, and you close that portal, so we can get paid."

"Well…"Beetle began. "Ok…everything will be ready in an hour."

"I'm going to get some air." said Star as she walked toward the door.

"Donny wanted to talk to you Star." Erissa informed.

Star turned back to her. "I know, I feel badly, but when it's time to go, I gotta go." she picked up a pen and paper. "I'm going to write a thank you letter, I'll be back."

Beetle prepared to the Brewster opening to be transferred to his house. He recited some words of a forien language, a language not know in the Living Realm, but in fact a anient Netherworld language.

**Later**

"Ok Gals…" Beetle began. "The partal is ready to be closed the moment you step through, but all three must step in together."

"Where's Star ?" Asked Erissa.

Ginger opened the house mail. "Oh lookie, were all invited to a wedding."

"She should've came back by now." Ruby replied.

Beetle grabbed the notice from Ginger. "Let me see…" and read it. "Oh girls…" he called, gaining their attention, and agev then the notice.

The invitation is white with sliver lettering.

_You have been invited to witness the martial ceremony of Donny Juice and Starling Powers. The ceremony will begin today, nine o'clock sharp at Judge Mental's emergency wedding chapel._

Ruby and Erissa looked at each other with wide shocked eyes. "What ?" they screamed in unison.

"We've got to save her." Said Erissa.

Ruby turned to Beetle. "You've got to get us down there."

"Well…" He began. "I'm not sure if I wanna go, weddings are boring."

"Please Beetle." Erissa pleaded.

Beetle thought of all the mischief that must be going on down at the chapel. "Sure ok." he grinned. He snapped his fingers, which allowed them to be teleported in to his car. He drove them to the chapel.

"Oh Beetle dear, you made it." said a short old woman that approached him. "We're so glad."

Ruby interrupted. "Excuse ma'am but our friend Starling Powers is here and…"

"Oh that's wonderful…" The woman smiled. "go and see her, she looka so beautiful in her gown."

Ruby and Erissa rushed inside the ladies powder room to see Star locked in a cage, wearing a big white wedding gown.

"Help me…" Star pled. "Donny's Mom or his Dad has the key." she whipered.

"Oh my…" The old woman entered. "what a crowd. I didn't think so many would show at last moment like this, how wonderful."

"Here, try this perfume…" Ruby sprayed the old woman with truth serum. "Now tell me, where is the key to this cage ?"

"Oh my dear, Donny or Nat has is."

"Who's Nat ?" Asked Erissa.

"…" Starling replied faster. "her husband."

Ruby and Erissa rushed out the room to find them, but they couldn't be found, but someone found them.

A short ols woman with an annoyed look with a cigarette smoke slit across her throat. "You two will report back to the Living Realm immediately !"

As the wedding march music began….Ruby and Erissa found themselves in the Living Realm, in the Brewster Estate with the poratal closed and everything is it's place.

"What happened ?" Ruby asked.

"That woman zapped us back here." Erissa replied. "Did you you see what I saw ?"

Ruby shook here head. "I saw nothing."

"I saw a tall man with bolts in his neck point a gun in Starling's back."

Ruby gasped. "Really ?"

Then a mirror appeared from out of nowhere, showing the image of their friend.

"Starling !" They shouted in unison.

"Are you ok ?" Asked Erissa.

"Are you dead ?" Asked Ruby.

"Yes I'm ok, and no I'm not dead." Star replied.

"But I saw some guy point aguy to your back right before we left." Erissa replied.

"That…" Star began. "Is part of there Gun Shot Wedding, and I was the forced bride. Even the Priest said it was the first that a girl had to be where the gun was."

"Is the ceremony completed ?" Asked Erissa.

"I complicated it, so it's on hold."

"What did you say ?" asked Ruby.

"Well when a ghoul-living wedding takes place, no matter what world it's in, a living family member of the bride has to be witness to it, and since my mom wasn't there, I told them it wouldn't be done legally."

"Smart move Star." commented Erissa.

"_Oh Starling my darling…" _Donny called from the background. _"your Mama's here."_

"Shit…that was fast." Star looked back. "This outta be interesting, once my ball breaking Mom gets a hold of Donny, the ceremony won't even take place." she smiled. "it's a soild."

The mirror faded.

Hours later

The Mirror re-appeared and Starling stood dumbfounded. "I…I…I don't believe it."

The two friend romed themselves from where they sat.

"What Star ?…tell us." Erissa urged.

Star showed then the ring. "I…It…It's official."

"What about you ball breaking Mom ?" Ruby asked.

"It failed. She tried at first, then Donny said… "Oh, so that's where you get it."…Then Mom then said…"Star, you need a husband."…and that wrapped it up. I objected, but that failed, and believe me, I objected the living hell out of it."

"_Oh Starling my Darling…" _Donny called from the background. _"It's time we get going for our honeymoon."_

"Ladies.."Star called to re-gain their attention. "be prepared to be bedazzled as Starling performs her worst, and a annolment gets done in twenty-four hours time.." then winked as the mirror faded away.

But there was no annolment, no divorce, no legal separation of any kind, despite all of Starling's efforts, just the darkness of her now being a legal, living, Netherworld wife and citizen, in her new life as Starling Juice.

"NO !"


	8. Chapter 8yeah I know, I lied

**GI - Chapter 8**

I know, I know…I said Chapter 7 would be the last, but as you can see…I lied.

Re-introductions of the Living realm girls:

Erissa - The most understanding one. She's willing to try new things, her weapon is called 'The Raptor'…a tech device for locating ghost.

Ruby: The mad scientist. She has a love for adventure, but not too deep, her weapon is called 'The Serum of Truth'…makes lying ghost tell the truth.

Starling: The weird one. She just always seems to get into trouble, her weapon is called 'The Blastmaster'…a cannon able to blast the target.

Now that introductions are done, read as the trio of friends continue their adventure….

****The Netherworld****

Beetlejuice and his best friend were walking around the Shocking Maul.

"Wow !" Lydia awed at a sparkling spider necklace in the jeweler's window. "It looks great.

Beetle floated to join her side when… *Boom*

"You gotta hide me !" Starling knocked Beetle to the floor as she ran into him. As she rose from the floor, Starling studied the features of the ghost…then the familiar face of the formal matchmaker, clicked into mind. "Beetlejuice !" she spat. "You did…" her hands reached for his neck, but he vanished.

Beetle re-appeared by his best friend.

Starling looked to him, then to his friend. "Your boyfriend sucks !" she spat.

Lydia formed an odd look. "He's not my…"

"No…" Beetle floated toward Star. "You suck." he pointed. "Cause if you kept your tongue in, maybe Donny wouldn't done this."

"Your brother was hypnotized by his parents." Starling replied, then shook her head. "Poor thing, I feel sorry for him."

"_Starlin' my darlin'…where are you ?" _The voice called from the far distance.

Star grabbed Beetle's collar. "You've got to help me."

Beetle rolled his eyes. "I really shouldn't…" he formed a wicked grin. "But I might if you do me a favor."

"_Oh starlin'….I know you're here somewhere…"_

"Ok fine." Starling huff then quickly hid.

Lydia looked to Beetle. "What was that all about ?"

"You're know soon enough." Beetle replied.

Donny approach the two with a smile. "Hi Lydia…" then gave his brother a big hug. "Hi Beetlejuice."

Beetle frowned.

"What's up ?" Lydia asked Donny.

"Oh…" Donny blushed. "I'm looking for my wife."

"Wife ?" Lydia retorted.

"I wanted you to be there Lydia, but gun shot weddings are really a rush, rush situation." Donny replied.

"So what happened to your wifey ?" Beetle asked with a roll of his eyes.

Donny sighed. "Starlin' ran off. Dad released her from the cage so she can use the bathroom, but she kicked him in the…" he got cut of.

"Starling kicked Dad's balls !" Beetle awed in shock, then snickered, then…

"Bahahahaa !"

Lydia frowned.

"That's not funny Beetlejuice." Donny frowned.

Beetle shook his head. "Yes it is." he snickered, then…"Bahahahahaa !"

Donny looked around the couple as he sniffed the air. "She's real….close."

"How do you know ?" Lydia asked.

Donny smiled and sighed lovingly. "I can smell her perfume."

Then a sound rattled in the far distance.

"That's her !…" Donny began to run. "Starlin' I'm here my darlin'…Imah comin'…your hubby's comin'."

Star peeked around from Beetle's back, and sighed in relief. "Damn…I'm glad that's over, now I can began phase one."

"What's phase one ?" Beetle asked.

"Na..uh…uh..ahh.." Star waved a finger, then regained composure. "You might turn on me and tell my plans, but I have another favor to ask you."

"Another favor ?" Beetle retorted.

"Yes." Star replied. "Small favors for me know, for a huge favor for you later." She smiled.

Beetle posed in thought. "Hmm…I guess I could, but if you try to swindle me, you'll regret it, Starling Juice."

Star huffed to the last name. "Ok, deal. I would like you to bring Erissa and Ruby, they're waiting for you near the Winter Raven bridge." then she ran off.

Beetle shook his head.

"Her friends are in Winter Raven." Lydia asked.

Beetle formed a grin. "Claire's Daddy paid for their service of investigating ghost in the mansion."

Lydia crossed her arms. "And of course, you had something to do with it."

"Maybe." Beetle teased.

At the roadhouse….

Beetle opened a portal that lead near to the Winter Raven bridge and two girls entered the Roadhouse living room.

"AH…" Beetle floated toward them. "Lyds…this is Erissa, and this is Ruby."

Lydia waved. "Hi."

"Oh, c'mon Babes…" Beetle started talking to Lydia, but was cut off by the throw of truth serum on his face.

"Where's Starling Powers ?" Ruby began.

Beetle looked back to the scientist with a frown. "That's rude, coming in here throwing stuff."

"We just want to help Star, Beetle." Erissa replied. "Where is she ?"

"Starling Juice." Beetle corrected. "I don't know."

"Excuse me…" Lydia intervened, gaining the two girls attention. "Could someone please tell me, what's going on ?"

"Gladly." Ruby began. "Your Beetle boyfriend, didn't save our friend Star, he just left her there to suffer by the hands of his parents."

"Beetle's not Lydia's boyfriend…" Erissa interjected. "Prince Vince is. I saw painting of her on the castle walls."

"How do you know about that ?" Lydia asked. "Vince only allows outsiders in the castle during certain holidays and events."

"Beetle set me on a date with your fair Prince." Erissa replied.

Lydia turned to her best friend with an angry stare. "You what ?"

"Babes…" Beetle backed away. "let me explain…"

"I don't want to hear it !" Lydia spat. "Whatever you were going to say is either a lie or just something stupid !" then she marched to the door and slammed it as she left.

"Great." Beetle spat.

Rudy splashed the ghost with another dose of truth serum. "Where's Star ?"

Beetle sighed. "It's possible that she's still at the Shocking Maul, that's where I last saw her."

"We'll keep in touch." Erissa said before she left with Ruby.

The Juice's House….

Lydia and Bea sat on the living room couch with a cup of tea.

"And that's what happened." Lydia explained the last of the dilemma.

"Oh dear." Bea formed a sorrowful look, then regained composure. "Well Beetle just doesn't think sometimes my dear."

"You mean, all the time." Lydia soured.

Bea took her empty tea cup. "Would you like some more dear ?"

"Yes please." Lydia replied.

As Bea left for the kitchen, Nat came in. "Bea…Bea, I'm home." He hung his hard hat on the wall hook, and sat on the recliner. "Lydia, how nice to see you again." then studied her displeased face. "Oh…Junior did something stupid again, didn't he ?"

"Stupid is not the word, Mr. Juice." Lydia soured.

Just then, Star entered the house. "Hi.'

Nat quickly rose from the couch and charged after her, but missed when she dodged. "Bea…Starling's here, Bea." He called for his wife to assist, but the loud humming made it impossible for her to hear him.

Star broke out a bull whip. "Down boy." announced right before she slashed him across the thigh. "Down." hit him again.

"Bea !" Nat yelled.

Lydia watched as the crazy girl smiled with the whip.

Bea entered the room. "Ok Nat, what's the…" then she noticed Star holding the whip. "Oh my."

"Yes." Star formed a wicked smile. "It's me. I want answers."

"Why don't you join us for snack." Bea replied. "I have some tea and sandwiches on the stove."

"Nah…" Star replied. "I just would like…" then she noticed Nat charging for her, and dodged out his way, then she whipped him across the ass.

"Oooo" Nat cried from pain.

Star held the whip firmly in front of man. "You make this so much fun." she smiled.

"Starling, please." Bea called, gaining her attention. "Let's just sit and talk, just us ladies. Nat can go in his study for awhile."

"Gladly." Nat rose from the ground, and continued upstairs.

Star held a remote in her hand. "Mrs. Juice, I know you and your husband are the ones responsible for making Donny marry me, and I wanna know why."

"My husband and I only made the arrangements, that's all." Bea replied.

"Wrong answer." Star replied then pressed the button on the remote and quickly dodged for the door.

Then a beeping sound grew louder as it approached the house, afterwards a large flowing amount of slime crashed through the house, coving the place from wall to wall.

Even Lydia is sticky from the impact. "Oh gross."

"Bea…." Nat called from upstairs. "There's slime in here."

"Yes dear, I know." Bea replied.

Lydia closed her eyes, and when she reopened them…the house was completely spotless. She looked at her dress and appearance, she stood completely clean. "Wow." she awed.

Bea stood with a bucket full of slime in her hand. "My work is never done, Lydia dear."

"How did you get the place so clean, so quickly ?" Lydia asked in awe.

Bea smiled. "A little elbow grease here and there, plus, I'm use to it…Beetle was always so messy when he came home from school. What Starling did is no comparison to what he ever did."

"Bea…." Nat called, gaining her attention as he descended the stairs. "Is everyone ok ? Did Star make that horrible mess ?"

"Now, now dear…" Bea patted the hand of her husband, then sat him on a chair, and gave him a newspaper.

"I better get going Mrs. Juice." Lydia said, then left.

The castle…

Lydia sat with Prince Vince in the castle library as he composed another sonnet. Donny, the a the royal body guard in training, patrolled the back of the room, pacing back and forth.

Lydia read through, then closed one of the books. "I love Professor Werewolf. I love all these novels…" she awed at the books throughout the library.

"I'm glad you enjoy them, my Lydia." Vince replied.

"Vince…" She called, gaining his attention. "Why didn't you tell me about your date with Erissa ?"

"There was nothing to tell. " Vince replied. "I did not consider it a courtship."

"Oh." Lydia sighed. "Well, you still should've told me about it. I tell you when I'm with Beetle. It's only fair Vince."

"Very well, my Lydia." Vince replied.

Lydia moved on to the next book when her eye caught sight of a strange object moving in the distance.

"Is there anything the matter ?" Vince asked as he glanced from a book.

"No. I just thought I saw something." Lydia replied.

Vince returned attention to his notes.

Then Lydia's ears caught attention to an odd sound. "What's that hissing ?"

**Boom**

The explosion came within Donny's pants…it was filled with thick red smoke. "A cherry bomb." he declared, then a thought came to mind. "Beetle."

"Beetle ?" Vince retorted as he stood from his seat. "Seal off the palace. If he's in here, I want him captured."

Meanwhile….

Ruby and Erissa were near the palace walls when they noticed. "Star !" they called in unison.

Star turned and ran, giving her friends a big hug. "Oh, you have no idea how good it is too see you guys."

"What's the sirens for ?" Erissa asked as she looked toward the castle.

"Insurance." Star replied.

"Insurance ?" Ruby retorted.

Star smiled. "Let's just say it's a way of eliminating one of the favors I owe Beetle. But for now, lets make plans…there's lots to discuss."

Roadhouse….

A loud sound banged at the door. "Beetle…I know you're in there !"

Jacques opened the door to a royal guard.

"Where's the Beetle ?" Asked the guard.

"I haven't seen him since this morning." Jacques replied. The guard was about to enter when the skeleton stopped him. "If you don't have a search warrant, then you shouldn't just barge in my home."

The guard huffed. "Alright then, you're right, but I'll be back." he left.

Jacques walked inside Ginger's room.

"Is he gone?" Ginger asked.

Jacques sighed. "He is, but he'll be back."

"Good." Beetle replied as he fazed into visibility.

"Beetlejuice !" Ginger and Jacques yelled in unison.

Beetle grinned. "Nah..ah..ahh…" he waved a finger. "Don't wear it out."

"This is no time for stupidity, Beetle." Jacques spat.

"Yeah…what did you do ?" Ginger spat to her dusty roommate.

Beetle shrugged. "I didn't do anything."

"Then why were you hiding ?" Jacques asked with suspicious glare.

Beetle rolled his eyes. "Every time ole Vincey has a hissey fit, he blames me and sends his royal puppets after me."

Ginger and Jacques looked at each other.

"I didn't do anything." Beetle repeated. "Look, I'm wearing a truth serum. I can't lie or anything while I have this on, ok."

"Oh yeah…" Ginger replied. "What did you do to my tap shoes last week ?"

Beetle shrugged. "I took a dump in it."

Ginger was appalled. "What ?"

"That was disgusting, Beetle." Jacques spat. "How could you do such a thing ?"

Beetle grinned. "It was a prank was all, I washed it out after I saw the ginger's face…Bahahaha,"

Ginger stood there, steaming in the face. "Why I should go tell those guards you're right here, so they can slice a spear in your ass."

Beetle was taken aback. "Oh Ginger…ouch."

Ginger walked off.

Jacques shook his head, then walked away.

"What ?" Beetle placed his up in defense. "Whaat ?…"

Netherworld downtown hotel….

"So that's Phase One ?" Erissa replied.

Starling sat in a chair. "That's all I have for now, unless any of you have a suggestion."

"I have one…" Ruby began. "Instead of Heidi, what about Claire Brewster ? I think she would make for more interesting bate."

"Yeah…" Erissa intervened. "I would love the chance to smack her around a bit."

Star. Smiled. "Whatever makes you guys happy. I will make havoc until you're ready with Claire, but where is it going to take place."

"Claire's with her family in Hawaii." Erissa remembered.

Ruby formed in thought. "But let's think of a way to get her to the Netherworld just in case that plan doesn't work."

"Excellent." Star smiled.

Star stood awaiting for Donny to return home as planned. When her ghostly husband walked on the pathway of the front door, that's when…

"Yoo-hoo…Donny boy…" Star called, gaining his attention. "betcha can't catch me." she ran off at a slower pace than usual, until she was caught.

"I gotcha." Donny held her firm in his hands with a smile. "Now Starling, I'm not letting you go…Imah gonna have to chain you so you won't run away."

"But Donny…" Star turned to him with a smile, using a sweet voice. "no need for you to do that, I was just playing. Besides…I thought about our honeymoon."

"Really ?" Donny blushed in awe.

"Yes." Star replied, then traced a finger slowly drown his shirt. "But to be fair, we'll flip for it." she removed a quarter from her pocket. "Heads…you pick, Tails…I pick. Does that sound fair ?"

"Sure." Donny replied.

Star flipped the quarter in the air and caught in her hand, then read the results. "Heads. Ok Donny, what's your pick ?"

Donny paused in thought, then smiled. "Oh, I'm just going to allow you to pick, my darlin' Star."

"I pick Hawaii." Star replied, then took noticed of his confused look. "Hawaii is a tropical island in the Living Realm, USA."

Donny posed in thought again. "I'll have to get a permit, but I see no harm in that." he smiled.

"Good." Star smiled. "Let me know the moment it's approved or not." then she kissed him, and waved. "Bye." then ran off.

"Gosh…" Donny awed.

Erissa and Ruby returned to the Roadhouse…

"Beetle…" Erissa called out.

Beetle appeared from out of nowhere. "Shh…" he held a finger against his lips. "The guards are after me."

"How would you like to travel to a place the guards can't catch you, and terrorize Claire Brewster ?" Ruby replied.

Beetle lit with delight. "Well what the hell are we standing around here for ? Let looses the B-name."

Erissa and Ruby grabbed his hand. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." they called in unison.

Just then, all three arrived in Winter Raven. Beetle flew face first to the ground and kissed the grass. "The Living Realm…oh…baby…How do I love thy."

"Beetle…" Erissa called, gaining his attention. "Claire's in Hawaii, can you take us there ?"

"No way." Beetle shook his head.

"You get to terrorize Claire, remember." said Ruby.

Beetle shook his head. "I said no."

"If you want to stay here, that's fine but…" Erissa showed him a picture of ladies in skimpy thong bikinis. "Winter Raven does have this."

Beetle's perverted eyes grew big, and he started salivating on the lips. "Oh….well that's different." he stared at the picture as Erissa pressed the play button and one of the girls top flew open. "I um…didn't know they made those." he cleared his throat and turned to the girls. "After careful consideration, I decided to escort you two to Hawaii."

And with a snap of his fingers, they stood in the beach of Hawaii…

Beetle looked around, and as promised pretty girls in thong bikinis running and jumping around the beach. He juiced himself in some swim trunks and ran to join them.

"Where does he thinks he's going ?" Ruby spat.

"Let him be." Erissa smiled. "Lets get on with the plan."

Ruby and Erissa looked up the most expensive hotel on the island, traveled there, and confirmed that Claire stayed there.

"Target located." said Ruby as she studied Claire through binoculars.

Lydia wondered though the Roadhouse. "Beetle ?…"

"He's not here, Petite." Jacques answered her call.

Lydia slumped on the couch. "Where is he ?"

"He's a very popular ghost around here lately…" Jacques began. "Star want's to kill him, her friends want to kill him…Scuzzo's going to kill him, the royal guards want him, Barth want to kill him, and Juno wants to yell at him."

"Why does Barth and Scuzzo want him ?" Lydia asked.

Jacques sighed. "Beetle owes them money from last weeks poker game."

Well…where ever he is, I hope he's having fun." Lydia soured.

Beetle was having fun, playing volley ball with the skimpy beach bunnies.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

When he got zapped away to face Erissa and Ruby.

"You know…" Beetle began with an annoyed form. "Why is it, I get called at the most greatest times ?"

"We just need you to spook Claire." Ruby replied.

Erissa smiled. "Just do it enough to get the fire going."

Beetle huffed and fazed through the suite window. He found Claire taking a shower. "Now that's more like it." He said to himself as he watched her wet long blonde hair stream down her breast. "Nice rack." he smiled.

Claire thought she heard a voice…she stood still and heard the T.V. play from the other room, then shook it off. Then a sudden smack to Claire's ass made her jump. She frantically looked around, but no one was there. When she returned to the shower, it appeared that the steam formed in an image of a guy.

"Nice ass too." The steam spoke.

Claire's eyes widened, then she released an ear piecing scream. "Ahhhh !"

The image returned into normal steam as hotel security busted through the bathroom door, in immediate view of Claire and all her wet, exposed goodies.

"Get out you perverts !"

"Bahahahaha !" Beetle, Erissa, Ruby laughed far in the distance as they ate their snack.

"Man oh man…" Beetle snickered. "You shoulda seen her face…Bahahaha !"

Erissa smiled. "I bet she almost peed on herself…Bahahaha !"

"Beetle, that was great." Ruby began. "I haven't laughed this hard in a while."

"Yeah, that was fun. I haven't done anything to ol Claire in while." Beetle smiled.

Erissa posed in thought. "I wonder how Star is doing ?"

But Star wasn't doing so well, or should we say Nat wasn't…Star is once again caged by the Juice family, but Star was using her whip to smack Nat across the ass.

"Bea…Bea…" Nat called his wife from the living room. "make her stop. Star's putting slash tears all over my good work pants." Star slashed him again. "Ow !" then he turned a frown to her. "Damn it girl."

Star then smiled. "This is fun, maybe we should've got married." she released her whip again.

"Ow !" Nat yelped.

"Bahahaha !" Star laughed, then hit him again.

"Ow !…Damn it, Bea…get out here, and stop this crazy girl." Nat yelled.

Bea walked in to see the two…her husband is getting his ass handed to him, while the wife of her youngest son remains locked in the cage.

"Ow !" Nat yelp, then looked to his wife. "Bea, do something !"

Bea giggled under her breath.

"This isn't funny." Nat replied. "That girl is…" he got smacked on the ass. "Ow !" then he became super pissed. "Oh that's it…" he got up and when to the cage. "I'm going in there myself."

Star smiled. "C'mon big guy…yeah, that's it…c'mon big daddy, come to mama…" she slashed him on the thigh with her whip.

"Ow !" Nat yelped.

The door bell rang, and Bea answered…It was Scuzzo. "Where's Beetle ?"

Bea shook her head. "I'm sorry dear, I wouldn't know. Did you try the Roadhouse ?"

"He ain't there." Scuzzo replied. "You tell him I said…" he glanced over to the Nat and Star.

"Bea…" Nat yelped from the pain of the whip as it hit him.

"Hello…" Scuzzo formed a wicked grin, then walked toward the familiar female.

Star noticed the clown and hit him across the thigh with her whip.

"Ow, Damn it !" Scuzzo yelped, then he fazed through the cage and tackled Star to the ground. "I gotcha now, baby." he forced his weight on top of her.

"Yeah…" Nat cheered.

Bea shook her head. "Tisk…tisk…you boys play nice."

"Bea…" Nat turned around. "look at my ass, do you see what that crazy breather did ?" he pointed to all the tears on his work pants.

"Yes dear…" Bea nodded. "I can see it just fine, but that's no reason to be so ruff."

Scuzzo leaned to Star's ear. "Oh baby…If you were with me, I'd give you a real good time." he whispered, teasing his boner against her butt.

Donny walked in from work and immediately noticed the clown on his wife. "Why you…" he fazed through the cage and pulled him out. "Get off of my wife !" then he punched him in the face.

The punch sent Scuzzo to the ground. "Your Daddy was asked for help, you moron."

"That doesn't mean, getting fresh with my wife, Scuzzo. Now you get outta here before I kick your hide all over town." Donny spat.

Scuzzo dusted himself off, and huffed to the thought of Donny ever being able to beat him. "Yeah right." but he left.

Donny rushed to Star's side. "Did that nasty clown hurt you, my little chocolate cupcake ?"

Star smirked in response to the corny pet name, but shook it off and answered. "I'm ok."

"I'm not." Nat replied. "Your crazy wife, slashed my favorite work pants."

"D.J…" Star called, gaining his attention. "can I get out of this cage ?"

"Only if you promise not to runaway." Donny replied.

Star held up a hand. "Scout's honor."

Donny carried Star out of the cage and into his room. He turned to his wife. "Guess what…"

"What ?" Star replied.

"I got permission to take you to Hawaii in the Living realm." He smiled.

Star smiled. "Oh that's great D.J. When can we leave ?"

"First thing in the morning." Donny replied, then he formed a worried look. "You're not going to runaway from me are you, Starlin' ?"

Star waved an uncaring hand. "Nah…"

Donny formed a skeptical look, but then he smiled. "Ok." then he laid beside her in bed. "Cuddle with me."

"Sure." Star formed a devil grin, then grabbed the most intimate part of his body.

Donny blushed. "Starlin'…what are you doing ?"

She didn't answer.

"Starlin' my darlin'…please…oh…please don't…oh…oh…oh my goodness…"

In Hawaii…

Erissa received a text message from Star. She turned to Ruby. "Star's coming to Hawaii in the morning."

"Good." Ruby replied. "Let's move on to step three."

"I hope this works." said Erissa.

Ruby smiled. "Me too."

The next following morning, Star woke in the first class window seat of Delta airlines. "The living realm." she whispered, then looked around. "First class ?" she said in a loud tone.

"Nothing but the best for you, my darlin' wife." Donny replied next to her.

Star studied Donny carefully…In the living realm, his skin was still deathly pale, but otherwise than that, he just looked like an ordinary handsome guy.

"I never been to this side before, but I heard good things about it." Donny commented.

"where did you die ?" Star whispered.

Donny leaned to her and whispered. "I never lived, I was born to be a ghost."

Star's eyes widened. "Really ?"

"Yup." Donny smiled.

Star leaned to the chair. "Christ."

Erissa received another text message from Star. "We're here." she looked to Ruby. "Time for Phase Claire."

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." Ruby called, and he appeared.

"The ghost with the most, has arrived." Beetle smiled.

Ruby approached him. "We need you to scare Claire."

Beetle formed a wicked grin. "I don't have a problem with that."

Donny and Star arrived in their honeymoon suite, and he carried her over the threshold, placed he on the bed, gave the baggage guy a nice tip, and checked the view. "Wow !" he awed.

"D.J. why don't you relax, while I change into something a little more comfortable." Said Star.

"Ok." Donny smiled. He studied the never before seen to his ghostly eyes sights of the tropical living realm Hawaii. "Wow." He awed at all the beautiful bloomed flowers, the crisp clear water, and the white sandy beaches. "This place is great, no wonder Beetle likes it so much." he smiled.

"Donny…" Star called from the bathroom. "I was thinking that maybe we can start out honeymoon with a little game."

"A game ?" Donny repeated.

"Cowboys and Indians." Star replied.

"Oh boy…" Donny smiled. "I love that game."

"Good." Star came the bathroom wearing black shiny thigh high-high hilled boots, and a shiny black cat suit, holding a whip. "You be the Cowboy, and I'll be the Indian."

Donny gulped.

In Brewster's hotel suite….

Beetle awaited the perfect time to scare Claire as she sat, putting on her bikini. "Still got some nice juggs." he commented.

Claire looked around the room, but saw nothing. "I don't know who you are pervert, but when I do, my daddy and I will sue."

"Not a chance." the voice replied. "But I can still see your goodies." it teased.

Claire covered her top half, but noticed that the bikini top that was on, is now gone. "What the ?…"

"Nice view." The voice taunted.

Claire began to cry. "Stop it."

"Stop what ?" The voice replied, then made a wolf whistle.

Claire backed until she bumped into two masked figures….one tripped her to the floor, and the other covered her mouth with chlorophyll. "That'll pass her out for about an hour or so." One figure said to the other.

Back in the Honeymoon suite, Star was giving Donny a dose of what Nat told him.

"Ow !" Donny yelped from being hit on the thigh by Star's whip. He turned to cover himself, but that wasn't a good decision, she hit him two quick times right across the ass. "Ooo…ow mama, that's smarts." he covered his bottom.

"Bahahaha !" Star laughed wickedly.

"Starlin'….why are you…" he got cut off with a other hit to his bottom. "OW !"

"Bahahaha !" Star laughed.

Then while Star was distracted in laughter, Donny quickly tied Star's hands together with her own whip. "There…" He declared as he watched Star struggle. "You won't be able to get out of there, why even before boy scouts, I could hog tie like a pro." then he pressed his weight on her. "Are you going to continue this, my sweet sadist sugarplum ?"

"Donny…" Star called as she struggled in her bound. "Ok, ok…you win, please untie me."

"Ok." Donny smiled.

Star smiled upon her release. "I'm hungry, let's eat." then they left.

Erissa received another text message. "They're out and about, let's do this."

Beetle fazed the three in the honeymoon suite, and laid the unconscious Claire on the bed.

Erissa began setting the camera equipment, while Ruby gagged and tied Claire to the headboard of the bed.

"What are the annulment rules in the Netherworld, Beetle ?" Erissa asked.

Beetle shook his head. "Marriage rules are very strict in the Netherworld. When I tried to marry Lyds way back when, they had a hard time deciding on the annulment, but the only thing that saved her was her age…It's legal for to wed a living who's sixteen, not fifteen, so If I waited two more months, then tried that same stunt, only then…she would've been bound to be my wife."

"But what about Star ?" Ruby asked.

Beetle shook his head. "Like I said, Netherworld marriage laws are strict, if your friend wants out, she'll have to get exorcised. Death to a living who wishes to brake the marital bond already dead."

"And what about our plan ?" Erissa asked. "Cheating."

Beetle posed in thought. "If a living being who cheats on a marriage with a ghost can get exorcised, then I'm guessing it's the same the other way around."

"It's too late now." said Ruby. "The plan is set, and Donny and Star will be back in twenty minutes."

When time passed…Star and Donny entered the honeymoon suite.

"Donny I'm going to change…" Said Star as she entered the bathroom. "this latex suit is hot."

"Ok my darlin'." Donny smiled, then entered to where the bed was, and noticed the tied blonde on their bed. "Honey…" He called to his wife.

But star didn't hear him, she had the water running.

Donny walked to the blonde girl, and leaned to her face.

"On our honeymoon…" Star cried. "Your cheating on me !" then she ran out the room.

Donny ran after her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Beetle zapped the three girls into other area of the beach.

"I reviewed the tape." Erissa said. "Everthing is on there."

"Good." Star smiled.

Beetle folded his arms. "What about those favors you owe me, Star…or have we forgotten ?"

Star smiled. "Your rewards are waiting for you in the Netherworld."

They grabbed his hands and recited in unison. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." and landed in the Netherworld.

"I'll file the annulment or divorce claim." Ruby said as she left the Roadhouse with Erissa. "Good luck, Star."

Beetle looked to Star.

"First, let's clear your name." Star began. "Things will be easier once we the royal search men off your ass."

The castle….

"Your Majesty…" Star began as she stood in the throne room. "Beetle is innocent, he was not no where near this castle when the red explosion occurred."

"Oh ?" Vince replied in a unconvinced tone.

"One, according to the record keep, the claimed Beetle set off the explosion one o-clock yesterday afternoon, but that cant' be since he was at the watch shop during that same time." Star replied.

"Beetlejuice is a powerful ghost, he can appear many places at one time." Vince replied.

"Perhaps that would be the case if he were closer to palace area, Beetle may be able to do that, but…" Star began. "even a ghost of his power can't stretch from Downtown Netherworld to the Palace to do such a thing. Your Majesty, I'm sure your power may match Beetle's give or take, but if you were to try to stretch like that, you would be torn away."

"That's true." Beetle intervened.

"Very well…" Vince stood from his throne. "You are hereby released, for now. Be gone with you, Beetle."

Beetle followed Star out of the Palace.

"Favor one, complete." Star declared.

"Ok…" Beetle shook his head. "What about the other favor ?"

Beetle arrived at Scuzzo's tent.

"I can't wait to see this work." Beetle said in a sarcastic tone, with a roll of his eyes.

They entered to see Barth and Scuzzo sitting at a table.

"No broads." Scuzzo spat. "This is business, not pleasure."

Barth leaned in the chair, staring lustfully at Star. "I don't know…she seems pleasurable."

"I'm Beetle's business negotator." Star spat.

Scuzzo smirked to Beetle. "Letting a skirt do the job, huh Beetlejerk." then looked to Star. "Hey baby, why don't you park that skirt right here." he gestured toward his crotch.

Star formed a wicked grin. "Sure." then quickly took out her whip and smacked Scuzzo's crotch with it.

"Ow…Shit !" Scuzzo yelped.

"Bahahahaha !" Beetle and Barth laughed.

Scuzzo then charged toward Star but missed when she dodged, and then she hit him across the ass. "Ow…Damn it !"

"Bahahahaha !" Beetle and Barth still laughed.

Fuzzo entered the room as his elder brother get his ass handed to him. "Wha ?"

Star hit Scuzzo across the ass again.

"Ow…shit !" Scuzzo yelped.

"Bahahahaha !" Fuzzo joined Beetle and Barth laughter.

"It's not funny !" Scuzzo spat you his younger brother.

Star hit the clown across the ass again.

"OW…Fuck !" Scuzzo yelped.

"Bahahaha !" Fuzzo, Beetle, and Barth laughed.

Star then leaped into a platform. "I wish to negotiate Beetle's payment."

Scuzzo patted his sore ass. "He owes me two hundred dollars, there's nothing to negotiate, either he pays up, or I'll make 'em Sandworm bait. And you sweetheart…" he walked closer to the platform. "you can be my sex slave."

Star rolled her eyes and sighed, then she used her whip to hit the clown across his crotch.

"Ow…Shit !" Scuzzo yelped.

"Bahahaha !" The other three laughed.

"How about you, Four eyes ?" Star pointed to Barth.

Barth stood. "I'm not willing to negotiate, Beetle owes me two hundred as well."

Star used her whip to smack Barth across the thigh, but it didn't hit. He grabbed the whip tip before it could do anything. "Na…uh…un…" He said in a tease. "I, my dear like that sort of treatment, you may not want to stir me up."

Scuzzo grabbed her. "Gotcha."

Star quickly reached her hand for the Blastmaster, and blinded everyone in the room. She grabbed Beetle and they left.

Beetle looked to her.

"That didn't work out very well." Star admitted.

"I told you…" Beetle began. "when it come to business and money, those two are very old school about it."

"What do you want as a favor ?" Star asked.

Beetle laughed so much with Star and the girls, he could only think of one thing. "I just wanna watch you whip my Dad's ass."

Star formed a smile. "Request granted."

Meanwhile Erissa and Ruby stood in Netherworld court in front of Judge Mental.

The skeletal judge viewed the tape presented to him. "Ah…yes, I see. Infidelity is definitely good reason for divorce."

"Our client, doesn't want her soon to be ex-husband exorcised, she just wants to release from the marriage." Erissa stated.

Judge Metal posed in thought. "I don't know of any wife who caught her husband with other not to have him exorcised in addition with the divorce."

"This woman, a peaceful person…" Ruby began. "she just wants to be freed from the very ghost who isn't providing her with a peaceful life within their marriage."

Judge Mental shook his head. "This will be the first divorce without an exorcism, but before a grant anything, I want to hear from the victim myself."

"I'm sorry I'm late Your Honor." Star came through the door. "I had to take care of some business."

"Are you seeking the divorce ?" Judge Metal asked.

Star formed her best pitiful face, and turned on the water works. "Yes." she sniffled.

"Are you also the weird one who spoke against Donny Juice's exocrism." Judge Mental asked.

"Yes, Your Honor." Star replied.

The Judge sighed, then raise his gavel. "By the powers invested in me, I, Judge Mental grant your unexercised divor…." He got cut off.

"Now wait just a darn minute, Your Honor…" Nat charged through the door. "My son didn't have a say in any of this."

The skeletal judge formed an odd look. "Mr. Nat Juice, I have a tape of Donny's infidelity, there's nothing he can say."

"I can say that tape's a bunch of guff." Donny replied as he entered the court. "I swear on my soul, that I didn't…and wouldn't do that to my darlin' wife, Starlin'."

"I object !" Erissa and Ruby spat in unison.

"Overruled. It's Donny's turn to speak." the Judge replied.

"Thank you." Donny began. "I love my new wife dearly."

"I object !" Star spat. "His parents hypnotized or brain washed him into this marriage."

"I object !" Nat spat. "No. We. Didn't. My wife and I followed Donny's wishes, and that's all. My youngest son wanted to settledown with this crazy woman, so my wife and I supported this, and still do."

"Why is this happening to me ?" Star rested her head in the palms of her hands.

The skeletal judge looked to Donny. "So you swear on your soul huh ? You didn't do anything in the lines infidelity."

"I swear it, Your Honor." Donny replied. "I'm an honest ghoul, and I haven't had any interest in another girl until I met Starlin'."

"The first girl my youngest took interest in, and she had to be so…so…weird." Nat muttered. "But Donny's my son, so if she makes him happy, the so be it."

Judge mental hit his gavel on the bench. "Order in the court." everything went silent. "Since Donny swears on his soul, and it's a very rare thing for any ghould to do, that means he's honorable, and it's confirmed due to the fact that a Soul Snatchers didn't come in here. By the power invested in me, I, Judge Mental and Netherworld law still recognize the marriage of Donny and Starling Juice, case dismissed."

"Soul Snatchers ?" Star questioned.

"If a ghost swear their soul about something, and they're lying, then a Soul Snatcher takes their soul into hell." Erissa replied.

"Damn it." Ruby pounded a fist into the stand.

"Starlin'…" Donny called, gaining her attention. "I really didn't cheat on you. I love you."

Star stood taken aback. "Um…."

Juno walked in the court room. "Erissa…Ruby…we meet yet again."

The dual didn't know who she was.

"It's time to go." Juno smiled, the a bright light appeared, then they landed in Winter Raven. "That was a nice stunt you guys pulled…to bad it didn't work."

The girls looked to the older woman, with a cut across her throat.

"Normally I handel Ghost who used to live, but when I came across Beetle, and saw you guys, I just had to entertain myself." Said Juno. "Please…" she smiled. "visit again, your stunts are very entertaining." then she disappeared.

Erissa and Ruby looked at each other, just then a portal appeared….it was Starling.

"Thanks for trying to help." Star sighed.

"What's so bad about Donny ?" Erissa asked.

Star sighed. "He deserves better."

"I think he's got better." Ruby replied.

Star snickered. "I guess, besides…I like missing with his old man."

"_Honey…" _Donny called in the distance. _"It's time to go."_

Star shrugged. "Oh well…" then held her whip. "time for fun."

And right before the portal closed, Erissa and Ruby witnessed Nat getting whipped right across the ass.

"Bahahaha !"

**Author's note's:**

I might write another chapter…not sure, but I will sty open minded.

P.S. The retared upload thing won't allow me to upload the way I originally written anything...it scambles the words and stuff at times.


	9. Wow ! and that all that can be said

**Chapter 9: G.I.**

Erissa and Ruby studied from a ghostly realm book inside of a abandoned barn near the woods of Winter Raven. Ruby pours the sands of the moon to form the shape of a circle on the ground.

"We gotta make this trip count Ruby…" Erissa began. "we just have to for Star's sake."

"I think Star's safe." Ruby replied then dusted her hands form the sand. "Besides, Donny's not going to hurt her."

"I know that…" Erissa formed a look of concern. "but staying in Netherworld can't be good for a breather."

"Re-lax…" Ruby grabbed the ghostly realm book. "I saw other living realmers there, and we're more prepared this time. Which weapon do you have ?"

"Two guns and a sword." Erissa replied.

"Guns ?" Ruby retorted then raised a brow with a smirk. "You're a lousy shot Erissa."

Erissa gave her smirk. "I'm only using the noise of the guns as a distraction, it's the sword that will cause damage, it's made from a serum that will exorcise ghost upon impact."

"Do you really think that's necessary ?" Ruby turned to her friend with a raised brow.

"I hope not…" Erissa replied. "but it feels good just to carry it."

Ruby looked to her with the open book in hand. "Ready ?"

"Ready." Erissa nodded.

Ruby recited the words written in the ghostly realm book, then the sand in the shape of a circle formed a bright green glow, and then a black hole in place of the floor remained.

"Why couldn't we just summon Beetle and ask him to take us ?" Erissa asked.

Ruby looked to her. "I don't wanna put ourselves in the position of owing him favors unless absolutely necessary."

"How true." Erissa replied.

The dynamic dual drove inside the large gap into the floor, then the floor sealed as if nothing happened.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh !" The dual screamed as they fell through the darkness. "Ahhhhhh !"

*Crash*

They landed in the water.

"Looks like I arrived just in time." A male voice spoke.

Erissa and Ruby looked to see their friend Ace leaning oh so casually against a tree.

Then a wolf whistle. "Wet t-shirts." Ace smiled as he pointed to the girls wet clothing.

Erissa and Ruby just smirked at him.

"How did you get here ?" Ruby asked.

"I used the front door." Ace joked.

"Smartass." Erissa smirked.

"I used the 'Handbook for the Recently Deceased' and drew a door as instructed." He replied then crossed his arms. "So in a way…" then turned an eye to Eris. "I wasn't being a smartass, just smart."

***Juice Family Home***

"Bea !…" Nat screamed as Starling climbed around on his back. "Bea, get in here !.." trying desperately to get the girl off. "This crazy breather is trying to…to…she touching me Bea."

Bea floated in the living room and saw the two as they ruffled around on the floor. "Nat, don't roughhouse with the poor girl."

"Me roughhousing ?" He looked to his wife with such confusion and outrage.

Star snarled and hit the big man across the ass with her whip.

"See Bea…see what she did." Nat pointed.

Bea just smiled. "Oh Nat, she's just being friendly." then left the room.

Star hit the man with her whip yet again. "Oh yes Daddykins…" she smiled with great pleasure. "I'm just being friendly."

Nat finally grabbed Star and placed her inside the cage. "Now you stay put !" he spat then held a finger to her. "I'm not going to go day after day with this." then he left for the kitchen and noticed that his wife stood giggling against the wall. "A-ha, so…you're laughing at me."

"I'm sorry dear…" Bea giggled. "I just can't help it, you just looked so adorable."

"Ah…" Nat nodded to her with a frown. "so I look adorable to you while I'm in pain." then pointed a hand toward the living room. "That crazy sadist breather is hitting me day in and day out, and you laugh, well…I hope you're getting plenty of entertainment."

"Oh Nat…" Bea began.

"Oh don't you flash your innocent puppy look at me." Nat grumped with a frown. "Well if it wasn't for the shame of it, I would bend you and that breather over my knee."

Bea rose a brow with a blush to her cheeks. "Bend me over your knee huh…" then stroked his big strong hand and arm.

Nat was taken aback. "Bea, were you listening to me ?" then noticed the smug blushing smile on her face. "I knew it…I knew before I married you that you were a weirdo."

Bea looked into his green eyes. "Why don't we go upstairs so I may show you how much of a weirdo I can be." she smiled.

"Ok fine." Nat agreed then followed his wife to the stairs. "But don't use that electric battery clips on my nipples this time."

Ace, Erissa, and Ruby stood in the center of Down Town Netherworld as the Mayor stood to make a speech. Erissa then noticed Beetlejuice sneaking around the crowd.

"My fellow Netherworldians…" The Mayor began. "I plan to put into action the Bounty Hunter Protection Initiative. Bounty Hunters who agree to work for the government will not only have government wages, but entitled to a great benefit package. With this, Bounty Hunters will work with the police to make the Netherworld safer."

Beetlejuice was craving for a prank, and then it hit, the idea just as great as ever would humiliate the Mayor, especially on National T.V. but Just as he was just about to execute the prank, it happened…

The large long drape with the picture of the Mayor's face sweep away during the middle of his speech to reveal the most shocking and boldest of all things.

The crowd of the Netherworld Gasped heavily as they stood in front of the podium as well as the many folks watching the event on T.V. at home.

Even Beetle's eyes widened in shock from the sight.

Erissa, Ruby and Ace immediately knew who was responsible. "Starling Powers." they said in unison.

The Mayor stood unaware of what happened as he continued to speak. "We will stand firm and erect against crime."

Beetle couldn't help to laugh at the 'firm and erect' part of the Mayor's speech.

"Then we will charge forth and penetrate these criminal hideout." The Mayor spoke.

Ace, Erissa, Ruby couldn't help but laugh.

Beetle was rolling on the ground with great laughter. "He said…he said penetrate…Bahahaha."

The Mayor looked upon the people, the press, and his staff just to see very shocked looks across their faces. "I know what you're thinking…" he smiled. "The Mayor is going to do all that ?…Why yes, I am. And…we will finish these criminals with our mighty rod of justice and water them with our an overflow of goodness that this world deserves."

Beetle laughed so hard that his stomach began to hurt. "He said…might rod…overflow…Bahahahaha."

Just then a large man with a tiny head whispered inside the Mayor's ear…The Mayor turned around to discover that his image was replaced by a large painting of Prince Vince as he laid completely nude on top of mound of pillows as he held his.

"P.V. is choken his chicken…" Beetle pointed then rolled even more around on the ground. "Bahahahaha !"

The Mayor fluttered his eyes and fainted.

The guy with the large body and tiny head who held the Mayor looked directly to… "Beetlejuice !" he pointed to the ghost wearing a pin striped suit. "Arrest him !"

Beetlejuice sat inside the jail cell pacing back and forth. "I didn't do it…" he huffed. "but they won't believe me…" then pulled a lit cigarette from his pocket and took a drag. "they should know that I wouldn't do a thing like that."

Just then the GI team entered the jail hall….

"Beetle…" Erissa ran to the ghost. "Are you alright ?"

"Alright ?…" Beetle huffed. "Alright ?…" then took a drag from his cigarette. "They think I painted a picture of Royal balls, so no, I'm not alright !"

"Who says you had to paint it ?" Juno said as she just suddenly appeared.

Ruby turned to the ghostly woman with the slit in her throat. "Listen lady, we just got here and -"

"Relax…" Juno took a drag from a cigarette. "I'm not here to do anything to you guys. I was under direct order to remove Beetle's living real call girls so I did."

Ace turned to his friends. "Call girls ?"

"We were not call girls." Erissa and Ruby replied in unison to the ghostly woman.

Juno just looked at the two girls as smoke escaped from the slit in her neck. "Fine…whatever."

"What the hell happened to you two while I was away ?" Ace spoke to his two friends.

"We'll explain later Ace." Erissa.

"Excuse me…" Beetle spat as he waved a hand, gaining there attention. "Ghost behind bars for prank he didn't comment here !"

Juno turned to the prankster ghost. "Beetle, even I know that you would paint a naked man. But they think you conned someone into painting it for you to pull that prank."

"Oh yeah…" Beetle began with a sarcastic tone then formed a look of sheer disgust. "like I would say 'Hey pal, could you paint the Prince of the Netherworld whackin' his wiener ? Oh, and could you have it done before noon ?'…" then formed a normal look. "Look, why the hell would I con for a painting of a cock, when I could con for the action of a cunt ?…" then huffed. "Gimme a break."

"He's got a point." Ace agreed.

Juno nodded at this. "Alright Beetle, alright, you made your point…this time."

Just then the cell door unlocked as Juno vanished.

"I hate jail !" Beetle huffed with a frown.

"Then stay out of trouble." Ruby replied.

Erissa patted the ghost on the back.

Ace was still laughing. "Aw man…you're my type of guy, how funny."

"Well don't fall in love junior…" Beetle spat then tugged on his moth trench coat. "I don't operate that way."

"Hey man, get over yourself." Ace spat.

"Alright, enough already…" Ruby spoke. "we got to free Star."

Beetle snickered at the thought of the shocked expression his Dad had when Star used her whip. "Riot." he smirked.

Starling escaped her industrial human size 'Wife Cage' to explore the streets of the Netherworld. She came upon a Biker Bar and became impressed by the motorcycles parked side by side. "Wow…" she awed with a smile at both old and new models of motorcycles. "so cool…" then noticed an old style customized bike with dark purple flames and a painted skull on the side. "Such good art work…"

"You like my bike huh ?" Said a deep male voice.

Star then turned to see a pale man with one eye standing behind her. "Oh…" she stared from surprise.

Just then Bartholomew Batt stepped outside from the bar and took immediate notice of the girl. "Starling Powers…" he called gaining her attention. "I remember you." he said as he formed a lustful stare then began to walk toward her.

"Back off half pint, the girl is mine." The One eyed man spat then took Star firmly into his arm.

Bartholomew frowned. "No she's not see…I saw 'er first, she's mine."

When that was said, the two men began ruffling and punching each other on the ground. Star watched this for a moment then began to slowly sneak away, but then she noticed that keys from the one eyed man fell from his pocket. Star took the keys and began to sneak away with the motorcycle, then climbed on the seat, revved the engine and began to ride away.

"Damn it !" The One eyed man hit his fist to the ground.

Bartholomew climbed with a ready engine on his motorcycle. "Too bad…" he teased. "looks like the chase is mine."

The One eyed man then grabbed Bartholomew from the motorcycle, threw him to the side, and rode away.

Star was miles away when she parked the motorcycle the curb of the shopping district. "There." she panted from the rust and shock that she actually managed to drive the thing safely. "Hopeful if the cops find it, that man will get his bike back." then hid the keys inside the side pack and ran.

Star then noticed a bus depot. _"If I could just get to Beej's Roadhouse, I could maybe find that door, and talk to that Lydia girl." _She thought. Just as she stepped toward the Depot doors, rope quickly wrapped and tightened around her body.

"There's the pretty thief." The One eyed man spoke as he now sat upon his own motorcycle.

Star struggled and struggled, but the rope bounded her from any movement. "I see you found your keys." she said with a nervous tone.

The One eyed man then pulled her toward him and eyed her. "You know, I just can't let a thief go unpunished."

"Ok then." Star nodded. "Turn me in."

"Why waste government funding by having you sit in jail, when I could punish you myself." The One eyed man replied then strapped Star onto the rear motorcycle seat.

"What…what are you going to do to me ?" Star asked with a nervous tone.

The One eyed man turned to her with a smirk. "We can discuss that in the privacy of my bedroom." then rode away.

"I'm sorry everyone, she's just not here." Bea said with a sad tone as she looked to three living realmers and her first born son.

"Did Star leave a note ?" Ruby asked.

Bea shook her head. "No."

Nat walked into the room and sat on a chair. "I called Donny, he's on his way."

"Ok, this is the plan…" Ace began. "Erissa, you patrol this neighborhood… Ruby, you patrol the Roadhouse neighborhood, and I'll patrol with Beetle in the car."

"No, No…" Bea floated toward the three in great worry. "young ladies shouldn't roam the streets alone at night."

"Relax Mom…" Beetle spoke. "Jacques is going to be with Ruby."

"And I'll be with Erissa." Nat spoke.

Bea then sighed in relief. "Ok, but be careful."

The groups spilt into their separate ways in search for their missing friend.


End file.
